Big Brother One Shots
by JustCallMeObsessed
Summary: A series of One Shot's related to my story Big Brother. These one shots will revolve around dates, times and memories referenced to in the story but never looked into in much detail. Stories will include nights out with Blaine, Carson and Sebastian. Kurt & Sebastian's first date as well as Kurt's Bucket list. In no particular order. Works better with the story but isn't necessary
1. I'm Sexy and I Know It

_So, HI!_

_I don't normally do one shots but have found there are a number of moments I have hinted at in Big Brother that you will never read. So I decided to write them outside of that story, and as a few of you have asked to read them I thought I would give them a go._

_They will be uploaded in no particular order and I don't even know how many of these I will do. If any of you have any moments you wish you could have read that have been referenced to in the story then feel free to message me and I will see what I can do._

_Warning: Strong Language._

_Disclaimer: I don't own glee_

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**Big Brother: I'm Sexy and I Know it.**

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_Friday November 19th 2010._

"Why are we here?" Carson groaned as he took a seat in one of the three bar area's in Sebastian chosen pub of the evening. This so called 'pub' actually happened to be a club, and not only a club, no it happened to be one of the biggest Gay clubs in the south of Manhattan, and as it was Sebastian's choice to chose where they celebrated, this is where he found himself.

"Come on Carson," Blaine said playfully punching him in the arm as he took the bar stool to his left, "live a little!"_ Live a little HA, yeah right._ Sebastian hit him on the back while he put up three fingers to the bar man and mouthed 'three beers,' with a wink which had the bar man blushing.

He rolled his eyes and turned in his seat, his back resting against the bar as he took in the dance floor full of men dancing in numerous states of undress and costumes.

He didn't want to be here, and it wasn't because he hated being surrounded by gay people, he had nothing wrong with that, obviously, considering the two closest people in the world to him were both gay.

He didn't like being here because he didn't like the fact that some of the men in this room would check him out and think they stand a chance, when they never would. He felt guilty because he felt like a tease, how weird.

If he was being honest he would have much preferred to have been in some quiet pub somewhere enjoying a celebratory drink with his two best friends, but no. His two best friends, who have recently turned twenty one, were still relishing in the idea of being allowed to drink legally, so here he sat.

Sebastian nudged him in the arm before shoving a beer in his hand, knocking the neck of his beer against his before taking a swig of his own. His eyes seeming to settle on some random guy with brunette hair, large eyes. The guy was wearing blue trousers and a bright red t-shirt, he stood out, and even Carson had to admit he looked kind of cute.

He leaned towards Sebastian, keeping his gaze on the boy who couldn't be more than eighteen, "not really your type ey Seb?" he said with a wink knowing that it would only encourage him. Sebastian glanced at him before he resumed checking out the so called 'meat' on the dance floor.

"Anyone catch your interest yet Blaine," he asked looking towards the short brunette who's eyes didn't seem to really focus anywhere as he searched the floor, probably hoping to find the man of his dreams out there.

_If only the world worked that way_ he thought with a sad smile as he punched him on the arm lightly, causing Blaine to smile at him before he resumed searching. He had to give it to the guy, still wanting to come out after only coming out of the hospital four weeks ago. Blaine was stronger then both he and Sebastian put together.

Letting the past memories go he let out a sigh as he allowed his own eyes to drift over the bodies on the dance floor. It was only half past ten and there were some people in here who seemed to be so drunk they couldn't even stand up straight, god what he would give to be young again.

Looking around the room he felt kind of old, Blaine and Sebastian had only turned twenty-one this year meaning they were only just legal to drink and here he was at the age of twenty-five sat in a gay bar. Don't get him wrong it wasn't that much older, but he still felt old.

If you'd asked five years ago where he expected to be sat on his twenty-fifth birthday, he would never have guessed this. "Cheer up buddy," Sebastian said as he placed his empty beer bottle on the table and ordered six shots of 'the most damning ones on the menu' as he had requested.

With a groan he brought the beer bottle to his lips he said, "man I am not doing shots, you know I'm no good on those things." He looked to the dance floor knowing all to well he'd end up doing them anyway. He shouldn't, he was a very very bad drunk.

"That's the whole point," Sebastian said teasingly with a wink as he pushed a shot glass full of bright red liquid into his free hand. A pink one into Blaine's, while his shot glass consisted of aqua blue liquid with pink bits in, it looked revolting.

He screwed his nose up at it and was about to protest when Sebastian was already shushing him. "Shut up Carson, it is your twenty-fifth birthday so we are going to have fun and celebrate by getting totally wasted!" he said raising his glass midair just in front of him, Blaine followed suit and they both turned to him in waiting.

He let out an annoyed sigh and looked towards the ceiling, "of course getting drunk sounds fun to you two, you've only just stopped using baby bottles," he said sarcastically. Sebastian shook his head as if he was being stupid, Blaine glared at him in annoyance before they both looked at him smiling, "come on C, you only live once!" Sebastian said to him in a tone that sound like a challenge.

He looked to Blaine who was still smiling at him the same way and in a split second he made a very bad decision, "screw it," he said with a smile as he rose his glass, all three clinking before they downed the brightly coloured liquid in one mouthful. _Wow, that had a kick in it_ he thought as he took a swig of his beer to kill the burn in his throat.

"Whoo!" Sebastian said with a shake of his head, "Damn what the fuck was that!?" He asked the empty shot glass as he tried to look at it for a label. He shook his head, man these kids were such lightweights.

He turned to look at Blaine who just looked confused as he stared at nothing in particular, he placed the empty shot glass on the bar with a smile, deciding he would be the responsible one tonight and make sure these two got home safely.

"Here," Sebastian said shoving another shot glass in his hand, this one now had green liquid in with a yellow layer on top, again it looked disgusting. Sebastian and Blaine already had their glasses touching midair in front of him, both waiting for the *clink* giving them permission to down them.

He looked at them with a small smile deciding that one more shot wouldn't hurt, as long as this was all he had and remained on 4% drinks for the rest of the evening he 'd be fine. He nodded and raised his glass joining the toast, _I can do this_ he thought encouragingly.

He could feel the first shot spreading through him, he could feel the thin layer of uncertainty settle over him as his thought process started to get cloudy. Without a second thought he lifted his glass to meet the two waiting for him and with a clink of glass on glass they downed their drinks in one mouthful.

_Wow,_ he thought again,_ what the fuck is in this?_ He turned to put the empty cup on the bar and had intentions to ask the bar tender what they were drinking but his head got foggy and he got distracted, he was too old for this.

Sebastian had ordered six more shots and the barman was already leaving before he had even realised he'd been here._ Shit,_ he thought through the drunken haze sitting over him. _Fuck! I don't do shots! Sebastian knows this the bastard!_ he wanted to scream, he wanted to shout but it came out as a mangled thought.

He turned to face the dance floor, the lights flashing across his vision. He opened his eyes wide as he tried to look through the pink and purple bubbles dancing across his vision, for a moment he wondered what they were and why the looked so pretty.

Sebastian pushed another shot glass in his hand, he felt Blaine's hand on his arm and he looked to see the smaller boy smiling, his pupils seeming blown as he couldn't even stand up straight. Using his arm to support him_, lightweight_ he sneered but knew he couldn't say much with the way his head was spinning.

He turned to Sebastian who had this huge, cocky grin on his face, his eyes blown wide too, "to Carson!" he said and this time they all raised they miniature glasses to the middle of the air between them, all repeating 'to Carson' before downing the sickly sweet liquid in one and moving on to the second one.

The last conscious thought he remembered; _well fuck._

-/-

Carson woke with a groan as he barley opened his eyes before bringing his hand to cover them, the light being way too bright and hurting. His head felt as if someone was banging him across the head with a very small, but very real hammer. _It fucking hurts_ he groaned internally, wondering how much he'd drunk last night.

Unable to remember much from last night at the moment, he turned on his side, expecting to bring his duvet up around him only for his hand to come across naked flesh. He froze at the contact, _fuck._ The only thought crossing his mind, _what the fuck happened last night and what about Melody!?_

Too afraid to look he left his hand covering his eyes as he tried to think through his post-drunken haze at what he should do, only to hear movement and a groan behind him. He shifted slightly feeling more then one set of legs,_ there's two people in my bed!? What the actual fuck!? _This only seemed to be getting worse.

Waking up with two people in his bed was extremely rare, and considering he had a girlfriend it was most definitely not a good thing. He panicked wondering what the hell had happened considering he had spent his entire evening at a gay bar, when had he even had the chance to meet wo-_ oh fuck._

Realisation hit and then he started to silently freak out, _did I sleep with two dudes last night!? Oh my god Melody is going to dump me and-_ "Carson?" he heard a male voice grumble interrupting his thoughts.

A voice that sounded a lot like, he moved to where the voice came from "Sebastian?" he asked before sighing in relief, "Thank fuck!" he said with a sigh allowing himself to drop back to the mattress in relief.

If Sebastian was in bed with him that meant Blaine was too, thank god he hadn't slept with two guys, that would have been the hardest thing to explain to Melody. "Whattimeisit?" he heard Sebastian mumble as he moved in closer to his back, he planned to answer until he felt Sebastian's bare skin against his back.

_What the fuck?_ he sat up from his bed and looked down at his attire, well attire was a loose word considering all he seemed to be wearing was a leopard print thong. "What the fuck am I wearing and where the fuck are my clothes!?" he exploded making the two men in his bed jump and wince at the loud noise.

He was staring at himself in disbelief, a million questions running through his head when a pillow came out of a nowhere and smacked him across the face. "Lie down," Blaine mumbled from where his face was pressed against the mattress, "it's cold and you were keeping me warm."

Looking at Blaine in confusion he did what he was told, letting the two of them sleep while the grown up in the room tried to piece together the events of last night. _Why did I drink shots, I'm not a fucking kid anymore._

He could remember saying he wasn't going to get drunk, he could remember telling Sebastian he wasn't going to do shots, he also remembers doing shots. He remembers dancing, a lot of dancing. _Wait_, he thought suddenly a weird memory crossing his mind, _did I get hit on?_

He must've wondered aloud because Sebastian answered with a "yeah, by the dude I had my eye on, fucking home wrecker" he mumbled into the mattress and he couldn't help but laugh. _Carson 3, Sebastian 2 boom_ he thought with a celebratory edge.

Sebastian must've known what he was thinking because he murmured, "doesn't count," and before he even had chance to finish his sentence Blaine had mumbled "does too," into his skin which was the weirdest sensation ever coming from his best friend.

He laughed at the two kids in his bed, _woah that sounds wrong, two men he corrected, in his bed._ Getting back to the matter at hand he tried to figure out the going's on of last night and decided to start with the clothes he wasn't wearing.

First of all these weren't his underwear so at some point last night he must've changed somewhere, at this point in his life that fact didn't embarrass him anymore. Okay he lied, it bothered him a lot he just pretended it didn't. He tried to think, tried to focus, where did they go last night? What did they do? What were they wearing?

With all these unanswered questions flying around his pounding head he groaned in frustration before closing his eyes hopeing to remember more of the evening before sleep overtook him.

-/-

Two and a half hours later all three of them had pulled themselves out of his bed, all of them in all states of undress. Sebastian was wearing a thong and a see-through netted t-shirt that was most definitely not his, while Blaine was in a very tight pink polo shirt and a pair of boxers he didn't recognise. Why did they all change clothes last night?

They'd dressed themselves before making their way into the kitchen, which is where they were all now sat over their second steaming pot of coffee along with a bottle of painkillers. It was going to be a very long day.

"I think there was singing" Blaine said quietly into the counter, his cheek on the cool counter top. The coolness on his cheek apparently stopping him from feeling sick. "I'm pretty sure there was dancing."

Sebastian grumbled as he held a bag of peas to his head on a new bruise, one none of them had any idea about. Blaine's hand reached for the coffee cup that was nowhere near him and Carson had to stifle a laugh as Blaine huffed "and I know there was alcohol."

He shook his head in annoyance before deciding that it hurt. He mumbled "no shit sherlock" into his hands before reaching for his coffee. There was loud noise from the next room, the sound of one of their mobiles no doubt and all three of them covered their ears at the very loud noise.

The song seemed to go on forever, and why the hell was Carson's ringtone 'We No Speak Americano.' It was all loud music and the same stupid four words, the song drove him insane when he was sober, let alone hanging.

"Who the hell is ringing you at this time of the morning?" Blaine growled into the counter, "it's way too early." Carson had to admit that seeing his two friends hanging was hilarious, they weren't as used to the intake of the alcohol as he was.

He looked at the clock on the wall wondering what time it was and laughed at Blaine's previous statement, _morning HA!_ "Guys, it's one thirty in the afternoon. It's no longer morning" he shook his head and then immediately regretted it when the ringing started.

There was silence between the three of them as they tried to sort through the whirling in their heads. They'd been that way for around twenty minutes when a very loud noise interrupted the silence making him wince in agony.

"OH MY GOD I'VE GOT IT!" Sebastian called jumping up from his seat at the breakfast bar and running out of the room, he barely managed without tripping over his own feet but he still made it somehow.

He and Blaine both winced at the noise "what the actual fuck!?" Blaine yelled into the counter top as he moved his other hand to cover his ear. He did the same, he may not suffer hang overs like the two kids did, but he still suffered.

Less than five minutes later Sebastian came running in with their three phones, confusion crossing through his still slightly blurred thoughts, not understanding why their phones would be of any importance right now. His 'yeah and' expression must've been obvious as he went onto explain.

"Maybe we took videos or pictures, or sent messages. There might be something on one of our phones that could help us remember!" He handed each of them their phones back as he swiftly unlocked his.

He grumbled, not wanting to admit that it was a really good idea and he was a little frustrated that he hadn't been the one to think of it. All three of them turned their attention to their phones, praying that they'd find something.

Going through his photo's he found several photo's of the three of them being involved in a foam party, their clothes so soaked through they'd turned into a second skin. It explained the change of clothes for the guys, his thong however, he still needed an explanation.

"Nah," he said disappointed "all I have are some interesting pictures of us at some foam party. At least it explains the change of clothes I guess" he said trying to find something good in his lack of photo's. "No video's or text's either."

"Oh, I have something!" Blaine exclaimed. "Oh my god it's a fifteen minute video" he said hopefully gesturing for the two of them to move to watch it with him.

He and Sebastian shared a glance before doing as Blaine gestured, moving to stand on either side of him, staring at the little screen as it rested in Blaine's hand on the breakfast bar as he pressed play.

Carson watched in embarrassment as he got up on a stage of some gay club he didn't recognise. He watched his very intoxicated self as he stripped down to nothing but a leopard print thong as he sang and danced along to a back tracking of 'Sexy and I Know It.'

"Oh my god" he groaned before he noticed Sebastian. He was stood on the bar dancing to the right of the screen but it was easy to tell that Carson was the main focus of this video. There were men dancing around the front of the stage, reaching out to try and touch him.

At one point, around seven minutes in he was absolutely mortified with himself. Still wearing nothing but this thong he stood right on the edge of the stage, random hands of random men wandering all over his body. He dropped to his knees for what reason he did not know, before one of them licked him from the line of his thong to his throat.

At that point he cringed, shuddering in the spot while the two of his so called 'best friends' were in hysterics over his misfortune. Looking down at his t-shirt covered chest he decided he needed a shower and he needed it now.

"Fuck, I need a shower" he said bolting to his bathroom, not caring about watching the rest of the video. He'd seen enough to know that no matter how much fun he'd had last night, he didn't want to know how that fun came about or what it included.

He never found out how he came to own that leopard print thong, and he probably never would. Deciding to forget it all he stripped down, throwing the thong in the bin and jumping in the shower, scrubbing his chest so hard it hurt.

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"Oh my fucking god this is blackmail gold!" Sebastian said from his spot next to Blaine, his hands covering his mouth as he tried to stop himself laughing too loud.

Blaine was snickering beside hime trying his best to laugh quietly as a very drunk Carson was wished Happy Birthday at whatever club they were at. Sebastian thought it looked a lot like PB but he wasn't too sure.

This was one of the most hilarious things he'd seen in a very long time, Carson never got drunk and this was the reason why. He was flirting and dancing, 'erotically' dancing, with a bunch of other drunk men. It was hilarious!

Carson moved to drag him up on stage then, dragging him away from the bar and the cute blonde guy he was dancing with. "That guy was cute!" Blaine said matter-of-factly. _Fucking cockblock_ he thought annoyingly before returning his attention to the video.

He was stood swaying side to side while Carson started off on some drunken ramblings about how amazing he was and how he was so lucky to be celebrating his birthday with his two best friends 'in the whole entire worldiverse.' He assumed he got confused between 'universe' and 'world' he laughed at the fact Carson got emotional when he was wasted.

"Looks like the good stuffs over" he mumbled disappointedly as nothing seemed to happen for the next few moments. Watching as they just danced, Blaine handing some one his phone and joining them on stage.

He raised an eyebrow glancing at Blaine, surprised he gave his phone out so willingly. Without even turning around Blaine knew what he was thinking, "I was so drunk I would never have given out my phone sober" he said with a shake of his head.

Sebastian tried to ignore the small smile that crept up on his face, his mouth turning up at the corners at the way they still knew each other so well. Thankfully he was pulled away from his thoughts before they could turn depressing by Blaine's shocked gasp.

"What? What?" he asked frantically, annoyed at himself for missing it. Blaine was shaking his head and re-winding his phone. "What the fuck did I miss B!?" he asked in frustration staring at the phone.

"Just wait," Blaine said through giggles, "you need to fucking see this Bas, I'm not even joking!" Once Blaine had found the part he was looking for he laughed to himself before positioning the phone in between them again.

"Whatever you do do not take your eyes off of the screen" Blaine warned and he knew this had to be good. They watched the video in silence before both of them gasped again, Blaine's more of a chuckle while Sebastian couldn't believe his eyes.

He couldn't take his eyes off of the screen as his very, very, very drunk friend did something he would never ever be able to forget. Mostly because they would never let him live this down. "Did he jus-"

"Yup" Blaine nodded and laughed as his friend continued to dance around the stage. The lyrics; 'It's getting hot in here so take off all your clothes' were never meant to be taken literally, but a drunken Carson obviously didn't get that.

The only item of clothing he was wearing was a leopard print thong that he'd just removed as he claimed it was too hot. "Fuck," Sebastian mumbled in disbelief at the state of his friend and the reaction from the crowd.

It was probably the wrong thing to say and he would forever blame it on the fact he was hungover and the fact he was gay, but he muttered to Blaine "Wow that's fucking impressive."

He expected to hear Blaine squeal and make some comment about how inappropriate it was considering Carson was their straight best friend but to his surprise all Blaine did was nod and murmur "you can fucking say that again."

The two of them looked at each immediately, shock on their faces at saying something like that about their best friend. Both of their cheeks flushing a brilliant shade of red before they turned back to the screen.

A very drunk and very naked Carson continued to dance around a pole for a few minutes before fortunately a drunk Blaine had taken off of his t shirt and given it to him to cover up before anything too bad could happen, but oh my god. "So that's where my shirt went," Blaine mumbled to himself.

The two sat there in silence, staring at the screen until the video finished and went back to the menu. All embarrassment from the previous moment gone, they were friends and they were gay, it was fine as long as Carson never found out about it.

"He just, I just, he fucking- oh my god" Sebastian literally had no words to say about what they'd just seen. That was so beyond the way Carson was usually, he had to wonder how much alcohol they drank last night.

"Do we show Carson this?" Blaine asked, a smile on his face mixed with humor and concern. Sebastian looked at him wondering what they should do. Carson would be embarrassed if he ever saw this video, especially considering his two best friends would've seen it as well as very packed bar full of strangers getting the show live.

Surely it would be better if they kept the end of that video a secret from him? Edit the video maybe so he would only ever see his dancing and stripping, it would make Carson happier if he didn't know. _What was that saying? Sometimes it's better not knowing._

After a moment of deliberation they decided to be responsible adults about the entire situation, putting Carson's wellbeing first.

So of course, he and Blaine jumped up off of their stools calling Carson's name as they ran to his bedroom, barging into his bedroom and interrupting his shower the two of them said at the same time "you've gotta see this!"

In the uproar of the video they forget to check Sebastian's phone. It wasn't until he was at home that night that he found a lot more damning and exciting evidence of Carson's twenty-fifth birthday celebration. The only question on his mind; to tell or not to tell?

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**Umm I had a lot of fun with the start of this story but come the end I struggled a little bit, unsure of how I was going to finish.**

**I don't know if this is the best ending to this story but after so much thinking and still coming up blank I decided it was kind of alright.**

**I hope you enjoyed the first One shot from Big Brother and I am positive there will be more to come!**

**Thank you for reading!**

**Read & Review.**

**Love Kaylee xx**


	2. Sebastian's First Sighting

_Hey ho! Another one shot I wasn't going to write but then it popped into my head and I though why not!?_

_I hope you enjoy!_

_Warning: Strong Language._

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**Big Brother: Sebastian's First Sighting**

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_Tuesday 12th of June, 2012._

"What the fuck Matt!? What do you mean the manuscript didn't get delivered on time!?" Sebastian yelled into his phone as he walked through the busy streets of Manhattan after a long and stressful day at work._ Who would've thought book publishers would have to go through so much shit_ he thought angrily before making sure it was safe to cross.

The weather looked to be a little worse for ware, the sun was still out but Sebastian knew it was only a matter of time before the curtains opened and New York would be in the midst of a downpour. It hadn't rained in months so of course it was only a matter of time.

He stopped outside of some bakery, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to calm himself down. His anger was a problem and he was trying to work on it. "Matthew?" he said in a tone that would've sounded calm if it wasn't for Sebastian saying it, instead it sounded deadly.

"You have twenty four hours to get the complete manuscript to Lauren Kate okay? If she still doesn't have it by this time tomorrow, then you won't have a job. Deal?" His tone was very composed, no hint of anger presence but sometimes, nothing was everything.

His eyes were still closed when Matthew replied a few moments later "y-yes Sebastian, Sir. Mrs Kate will have the manuscript by lunch time tomorrow I promise." There was a pause before he added "I'm so sorry about this Sir, I really am." Matthew said it so sincerely any normal person would've felt guilty for yelling at him, not Sebastian though.

"Don't promise or apologise Kid, just get it done," his tone still cold, and with that he hung up. A headache forming in the back of his head as a result of his long day. Around him the sky got darker, with a small smile and a longing glance upwards slowly started to make his way to the restaurant.

He was trying to forget about the idiots that worked for him and focus on what he knew was about to come. He was about to meet his best friend in the entire world for dinner, and if he was lucky he might even get caught in a down pour. Both things he looked forward too anytime.

He was just coming up to Broadway when the rain started to fall. He couldn't stop the smile that grew on his face as he watched people's pace pick up as they tried to get out of the rain, or how very few people seemed to have an umbrella.

Sebastian loved the rain, there was something about it that just made him wish it would always rain. The rain always brought with it peacefulness and would give old things a fresh new look.

This always busy street was now deserted expect for himself and a few people scattering around on their way to where ever they were going. The streets and trees were given a new lease of life as they glistened from the rain, the sight both intrigued and relaxed him.

He wasn't usually the type of guy to make a scene,_ yes I am_ he corrected with a smile as he decided to do something he rarely did in public, it normally being confined to the space of his backyard, but today he didn't have a care in the world, it'd been a long day.

As the rain started to get heavier he put his brief case on the floor and outstretched his arms, looking up to the skies above him. The feeling of the rain hitting his skin and soaking through him clothes made him feel at peace.

He stuck out his tongue to taste the rain, trying to soak the peaceful tranquility the rain brought with it in anyway he could. It so rarely rained in New York and he would embrace and relish in it when it did. He blocked everything out, ignoring the sound of the people as they rushed past and the looks he was sure he received.

Instead he turned in circles while revelling in the sensation, even the cold shivers running through his body made him feel good. He was smiling as he felt his suit get heavier, his shirt sticking to his chest and how there were now pools in his shoes but he didn't care. He never cared about anything when rain was in the air.

He had no idea what it was that he found so appealing about the rain but he'd loved the rain for as long as he can remember. The rain could mean so many different things and most people hated it. He knew it wasn't the reason he loved it so much but the rain was related to some of his favourite memories, and when it rained, he loved being reminded of every one of them.

When it rained and he did this little, ritual you could call it, he always thought about his life. The things he was doing, the things he wasn't. He would think of the people who were in his life and the people who no longer were. When it rained, that was the only time Sebastian would tell himself the truth.

It was the only time when he would admit to himself his fears, his worries and even his dreams. Saying something to a friend was a lot different to telling yourself. When you tell your friends it's just words, but when you tell it to yourself, it's no longer just words.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been spinning around absorbing the rain but eventually he stopped, he felt himself getting dizzy, something that he assumed with age considering he used to be able to this for ages when he was a kid.

For whatever reason he turned to look to his right, an action he didn't really needed to do. Later on he would decided that it must've been chance or fate that made him look at his favourite coffee shop. At that moment, his eyes locked with a beautiful pair of eyes and nothing else seemed to matter, as rare as that was for him, it was true.

Sebastian didn't know what it was that made him interact with the stranger, but he did and he couldn't help the huge smile that crossed his features. He continued to look at the beautiful man who was sat in the warmth of his favourite coffee shop at his favourite table.

After a second he waved at the man, _boy_ he corrected, _he couldn't be more then twenty years old_. Said boy blushed at either being caught staring or the fact he waved, he wasn't sure. One thing he was sure about though, was that he was the most beautiful male he had ever seen.

He caught the time on his rolex as he waved and that was when reality caught back up with him, he was going to be late. He dropped his gaze and grabbed his brief case without a glance at the boy again. He was just a boy and he had a life to get back to, it wasn't as if he'd see this boy again.

Sebastian had walked maybe three feet when he just had to look back, _was that boy still looking at him? If so, why?_ He turned and smiled in the boys direction only to see that he was in fact still watching him, his cheeks were still flushed red and he wondered again what made the boy watch him?

He felt his own cheeks redden slightly as the boy smiled back, a breathtaking smile. Sebastian didn't want to look away, he wanted to go in and meet this stranger, find out his name and his interests. It was a weird feeling because Sebastian wanted to know him. The thought terrified him.

It terrified him so much, he wasn't one to feel anything for strangers and he didn't like that he was suddenly changing. If he let himself feel anything for anyone he was opening himself to hurt and Sebastian didn't do that, not anymore.

So with one more smile he turned his attention back on the streets ahead as he picked up his pace, the rain still beating down on his skin as he made his way to meet Blaine for dinner, something he'd been looking forward to all day after not seeing him for over a week.

He tried everything to get that stupid smile out of his mind, everything, yet nothing seemed to work. He stood outside the door to Fireflies trying to compose himself, hoping his best friend wouldn't notice that he was slightly distracted.

Instead he focused on how he would be seeing Blaine who he hadn't seen in a couple of weeks, fortunately it managed to distract him for a while but of course he couldn't keep anything from Blaine.

He listened to Blaine as he spoke about Carson and his younger brother Kurt as he tried to understand why this boy was still in his head and why he cared so much about what he was doing._ Why did it matter?_

Smiling at Blaine as he gushed about how amazing this Kurt was, he put his head in his hands asking himself a question he wondered if he'd ever get the answer; _why does he matter?_

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**Ah I don't know what I think, what do you guys think?**

**Read & Review**

**Love Kaylee xx**


	3. Kurt's Bucket List

_Hey guys!_

_So, I've been getting ahead of myself recently and finding myself with too much time on my hands! So, I decided to work on a bunch of one shots considering I LOVE my boys in different situations, and I as I wrote Kurt's birthday chapter I found myself writing this as well._

_I hope you enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee._

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**Big Brother One shot: Kurt's Bucket List.**

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Carson had waited until he knew for definite that Kurt was in the shower before he snuck into his room. His one goal; finding Kurt's bucket list.

His birthday was in a few weeks and he and Blaine had come up with the idea that for Kurt's birthday they would help him cross of things on his bucket list. Kurt was the type of person who had goals and whatever he set his mind to do, he would.

He was that way too, so was Blaine but their bucket lists grew longer and longer with only one or two ever being crossed off, they wanted it to be different for Kurt.

So that was why he was now tip-toeing across Kurt's room to his bed side table where he could see Kurt's iPhone waiting there for his return. He wasn't too sure where Kurt's bucket list was but he decided to start with the 'note' app on his iPhone, his was in his blackberry notes so thought it was a good place to start.

He picked up Kurt's phone entering his password "eight letters, really?" he asked no one sarcastically as he typed in the word he was positive he was right. Then he was granted access, he shook his head with a small smile, glancing towards the door where Kurt was beyond with a fond shake of his head.

He could hear Kurt singing through the door and he knew he missed it and bet he couldn't wait to get back too studying at NYADA. Shaking his head he got back to the task at hand, hoping Kurt would be in the shower for a while longer.

Glancing back to the phone, he opened it up and almost shouted in triumph when he found it at the top of the notes list under 'bucket list.' He shook his head and smiled before noticing a note saved just under that one it's name, 'Blaine or Sebastian.'

His jaw dropped and he wanted to know what was in that note, was Kurt really trying to decide between the two men? Did Kurt now how Blaine felt about him? Admittedly Blaine wasn't hiding it well but Kurt appeared to be oblivious.

He was about to click on the note title when reason fell upon him, that was Kurt's thoughts written there. It was something that he had to work through alone. With a regretful sigh he clicked on the bucket list before he could change his mind.

He looked down, reading it one by one as he slowly scrolled through all of his brothers dreams and wants.

Kurt's Bucket list.

_Lima, Ohio._

#1 Patch things up with Carson.

#2 Get into NYADA

#3 Get into Juilliard

#4 Sing on a Broadway stage.

#5 Get married legally in New York

#6 Have children.

#7 Slow dance at my prom.

#8 Perform on the stage of the Gershwin Theater

#9 Teach Finn the difference between 'your' and 'you're

#10 Ride in a hot air balloon around New York.

#11 Get a kitten and call it Evita

#12 Own a one of a kind suit by BOSS.

#13 Find true love.

#14 Get kissed under the mistletoe

#15 Have relations in a dewy meadow with Taylor Lautner before he gets fat.

#16 Breakfast at Tiffany's

#17 Make it out of cow town Ohio

#18 Be standing, waiting for him to arrive at the airport because homes too far away.

#19 Visit London.

#20 Design an outfit that will be worn on a catwalk.

#21 Thanks giving with friends and family

#22 Be involved in Fashion Week in New York city.

#23 Meet the cast of Harry Potter.

#24 Attempt camping

#25 Find the right combination of colognes to match my body chemistry.

#26 Attend a circuit party on Fire island.

#27 Help someone donate blood.

#28 A Masquerade ball where my boyfriend would have to find me before midnight

#29 Visit A Disney land.

#30 Travel back to see my family from New York

#31 Walk down a red carpet

#32 Give something back

The list went on and on and he was surprised at how many he had. Some being big deals such as weddings and anniversaries, others little things like putting his child to bed or taking them to their first day at school.

#134 Build the best Blanket Mattress in the world

#135 Have my own show on Bravo.

#136 Answer this question: Do soul mates exist?

#137 Do karaoke.

#138 Build a ginger bread house with my children

#139 Release a solo album?

#140 Give Rachel a make over.

#141 Perform in a Broadway show.

#142 Go on a road trip

#143 Plan someone else's wedding.

#144 See the end of How I Met Your Mother

#145 Be introduced as someone 'Boyfriend'

#146 Announce the news of our engagement

#147 Make art by throwing darts at a board full of paint filled balloons.

_One hundred and forty seven?_ He thought with surprise, that was way more then he'd had on his at Kurt's age. He was a little surprised to see more writing at the bottom of the screen, tucked out of the way.

Scrolling down a little more he was surprised to see that there was more to his wish list, these dreams however were labeled under a heading of 'New York,' some of the things involving him and Blaine.

He was a little scared to read them, but decided if they had come about while he was in New York, maybe they could help him cross them off. Checking Kurt was still in the shower he glanced down to the words written on screen

_New York._

#1 Move into my own pent house apartment one day.

#2 Get Carson to speak to his Dad and meet the rest of their family

#3 Help Blaine find someone who deserves him

#4 A trip to AMNH just like in Little Numbers.

#5 Go to Fireflies with Finn and Rachel.

#6 Help Finn and Rachel move into their new apartment.

#7 Meet Finn and Rachel from the airport.

#8 Attend NYADA

#9 Apply for jobs to earn myself a living

#10 Meet Blaine's brother Cooper.

#11 See at least five Broadway shows

#12 Go to see Sebastian's office

#13 Take Blaine back to Ohio one day and have a coffee with him at the Lima Bean

#14 Introduce Blaine to the guys back home because they'd get on so well.

#15 Help Blaine achieve his dream of singing for a living.

#16 Visit Melody's grave.

He had to stop there, number sixteen on the list making his heart beat that little bit faster, why would Kurt want to visit Melody'a gave, he didn't even know her. Once again his reminded of how amazing his little brother was.

#17 Find a coffee shop like the Lima Bean in New York

#18 Walk through Central Park hand in hand with my boyfriend

#19 Visit 'Central perk'

#20 Find out the meaning of the texts Blaine sent you when he was drunk.

#21 Attend a premiere.

#22 Perform the duet 'Come what May with Blaine' (Our voices would sound amazing together!)

He was shocked to see some of the things he was reading and others not surprising him at all. He was distracted from reading others when he heard the shower switch off in the next room.

However he managed to catch a glimpse of the last one on Kurt's 'new york' list before he put his phone back from where he took it and snuck back out.

Hurrying to the kitchen and grabbing a cup so it looked like he'd been doing something while Kurt was in the shower. He tried to remember all of the ones on the list that could help him cross off, but the last one he saw was the only one on his mind.

It was just three words that could mean anything to anyone, and he'd probably never truly know what they mean to Kurt, but he was pretty sure he had the right idea.

#47 Figure it out.

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**So this is a list sort of story.. I hope you guys liked it for what it was! Just a little extra for you!**

**Read and Review,**

**See you next flashback!**

**Love Kaylee xx**


	4. My Big Brother

_Hello,_

_Thought I'd give you a little treat :) Here is Blaine and Carson's dinner date with Cooper. Hope you enjoy._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, Carson's all mine though baby ;)_

_Warning: Strong language._

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**Big Brother One Shot: My Big Brother**

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_Friday 13th of July 9:29pm_

Blaine's brother was stood on the other side of that door, the brother he hadn't seen since he was fifteen years old. The brother who always had to be better then him, always told him he was doing everything wrong, the same brother he disliked, hell hated, for so many reasons.

He let out a sigh of frustration as he tried to reason with himself, _the quicker I open the door, the quicker the evening will go and the sooner he will be out of my apartment and out of my life._ "Right, I can do this" he said to himself, his shaky tone telling him otherwise.

Blaine straightened himself up, took another deep breath and opened the door. His older brother was stood wearing a pair of black skinnies and a black v-neck shirt, a leather jacket hanging open making him look like a complete twat.

"Squirt!" Cooper said, he's voice sounding too excited, it was unsettling "It's been too long" he said pulling him into a hug. Blaine just stood there, refusing to hug him back, suddenly he was flashing back to Kurt's first few days here and he had a whole knew understanding of what that poor boy went through.

Cooper pulled back eventually, choosing not to take any notice of the fact he hadn't hugged him back and instead invited himself into his house, _a bit similar to Carson's behaviour with Kurt,_ he thought comparing the two situations. "Wow, is this where you're living?" Cooper asked, his tone leaking with disgust and distaste.

Blaine looked towards the hallway and wished he could just run, get away from here but he couldn't leave Carson to deal with his own brother, he'd have to deal with him eventually. _This is going to be a long evening_ he thought with a sigh, shutting the door with a sarcastic "Cooper, come on in."

As he shut the door Carson came out of the kitchen, an already forced smile on his face as he watched Cooper snoop around their apartment. Cooper was currently looking at one of their magazines on his shelf while Blaine tried to get Carson's attention, telling him to run while he still could.

"I'm not leaving you" Carson mouthed from where he was stood by the kitchen, "you hate this guy so just shut up and introduce us" he mouthed as he walked closer to where he was still stood by their front door.

Cooper turned around before he had the chance to say anything, "oh, who's this?" Cooper asked, chucking the magazine on the table and heading towards them. _No respect for other people's property_ he thought with an annoyed shake of his head. "Is this your new boyfriend?" he asked in a tone of disapproval.

Without giving him the chance to answer he was already talking again, "What happened to Sebastian? I thought you two were forever" he said, stopping in front of Carson. Blaine rolled his eyes, this was what happens when someones stays out of someones life for so long, they come back thinking they know everything when in fact they know absolutely nothing.

With a strained smile he turned to his brother, putting an arm on Carson's back "Cooper this is my roommate and best friend Carson" he said turning to him and smiling "he's also my co-manger and co-creator of Pen&Paper."

Cooper seemed to stare at Carson again, sizing him up most probably "oh that's good, this guys too old for you anyway. So where's Sebastian then if you're not dating this idiot?" he asked before turning around and heading towards the front room.

With his back turned he turned towards his best friend who was clenching his fist as he glared at Cooper. Blaine was mouthing his apologies, "C I am so sorry, I told you he's a monster!" he said his tone pleading hoping Carson wouldn't change his mind and leave them alone.

Carson seemed to just glare at Cooper, his eyes narrowing in frustration "I'm not too old for you at all" he said sounding seriously upset by the comment before he walked back towards the kitchen, muttering something about checking on the food and al.

Blaine rolled his eyes in annoyance, his brother's been in his home for not even ten minutes and he's already managed to offed his best friend, this was going to be an exceptionally long evening.

"Co-managers huh?" Cooper asked from where he was now staring at the pictures on the walls,_ staring was probably the wrong word_ he thought sarcastically, _judging more like_ "Pen&Paper, what's that?" he asked and he his jaw dropped in disbelief, he couldn't believe he didn't even know the name of his younger brother's magazine.

He nodded although he knew his brother couldn't see him "yeah, Carson and I met years ago at college. I had one dream, he had another and eight years later we now run and own a very successful magazine together" he said proudly, so glad of all they have accomplished. "Pen&Paper" he then said answering his brother's second question when he still seemed clueless, "that's the name of our magazine."

Cooper turned to him, his features full of distaste and disapproval "and you're proud of that!? Man Blaine, what happened to you?" He said shaking his head and Blaine's jaw dropped, confusion and frustration crossing his features.

"What happened to your dreams of being a singer? A recording artist who wrote for the joy of the music, not for the money he made?" Blaine was a little taken aback at the fact his brother still remembered that conversation, but he didn't have much time to care when the next sentence out of his house made him hate him all over again. "I achieved my dreams by the time I was your age, how come you haven't achieved yours?" he said shaking his head in disappointment.

If Blaine was honest he was left a little speechless, who was his brother to come into his home and tell him he was a disappointment for not achieving his dreams like he had, which he hadn't by the way. He felt like telling Cooper he was wrong and a hypocrite but that would ruin his plan of making it through this evening without any arguing.

Still he was stood there, eyes wide and jaw slack as he tried to find the words to say in return. However through all of his hurt and anger he couldn't really think of anything that could match or beat what his brother had just said to him.

"Dinner's ready" Carson called from the kitchen and he was ever so grateful of the interruption. Cooper's waiting face now turning towards the kitchen, his nose wrinkling in some form of emotion he really didn't care to know about. "If you take your seats I'll bring it on out" Carson called again and he forced a smile in the direction of his brother.

Both he and Cooper did as Carson said. Cooper being the asshole that he was chose to take the head of the table seat, not that they did that here but still, which was where he normally sat. Blaine took a deep breath before sitting in the seat that now belonged to Kurt, deciding it wouldn't help to confront him about it.

"What's your maid cooking us for dinner?" Cooper asked with a smile, obviously thinking he was funny.

Blaine looked at him, openly judging his brother, _how had he gotten anywhere in this world with an attitude and sense of humour like that?_ "Carson isn't my maid, he's my best friend and the three of us are having gammon and chips with egg fried rice" he said as he picked up his glass of water, not evening trying to hide the anger in his tone.

He saw Cooper looking at him in frustration and he could see Carson shaking his head in annoyance through the fish tank where he was stood dishing up their food. "Wait," Cooper said looking confused, "Sebastian's not eating dinner with us?" He asked looking at him in waiting.

Blaine took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose, _what was with Cooper's obsession over my ex boyfriend?_ "Sebastian is currently on a date" he said through gritted teeth as Carson started heading towards the table, three plates in hand.

Cooper looked at him as if he'd suddenly grown a second head "he what!? Why the hell is he on a date when he's with you?" Cooper asked his tone leaking with confusion. Carson put Cooper's plate in front of him, making faces behind his back before giving him his and taking his own seat._ Could he really be that stupid?_

"Cooper, Sebastian and I aren't together anymore" he said casually as he reached for the soy sauce. Adding mentally _which you would know if you'd shown any interest in my life during the past eight years you asshole._

He saw Cooper look between him and Carson before he settled for staring at him, "since when did this happen? What did you do to him?" he asked slamming down his hand on their table in his sudden, unexplainable frustration.

Glancing towards Carson he could tell he'd already had enough, his cheeks were flushed red with anger and his eyes were narrowed as he glared at his food, applying too much pressure which caused his cutlery to screech as he cut through his gammon.

Blaine sighed already feeling shattered "we came to a mutual decision to break up a few weeks after I moved to New York, the long distance thing not working for us" he paused sipping at his drink. "That was six years ago so I think, I think that it's okay for him to start seeing other people" he said sarcastically rolling his eyes.

He picked up his knife and fork, ignoring the confusion on his brothers face and joined Carson in eating the meal that looked absolutely delicious. "Blaine there is no such thing as a mutual break up, they don't exist. The person who initiates the conversation is the one who initiated the break up, was it you?" he asked accusingly picking up his cutlery.

Blaine tensed at that question, he had initiated the conversation but it wasn't because he wanted to break up with him,. It was because neither of them were happy and he wanted the love of his life, at the time, to be happy. He did what he thought would be best, not what he wanted.

He glanced up to Carson who was staring at him apologetically even though he had nothing to apologise for. He stared at him sadly before he resumed eating his dinner, choosing to ignore the question.

After a minute or two Cooper spoke up, his tone harsh and accusing "your silence speaks volumes. How could you do that to him Blaine, that boy was head over heels for you?" He said glaring at him before turning to Carson, "this rice is superb by the way" he said with a soft smile before returning his accusing gaze to him.

Carson glared at Cooper "thanks, I am so glad you approve" he said in a sarcastic tone that Blaine knew Cooper would choose to ignore. He saw Carson glaring at Cooper and he just wished that this evening would be over already. "So, what do you do for a living Cooper?" Carson asked trying to change the subject.

"Who me?" Cooper asked in surprise, a huge smile on his face at the attention he wanted everyday of his god damn life. Blaine wished Carson hadn't given him the satisfaction but appreciated the change of subject.

Blaine turned to him and had to smile at his feigned surprise before he glanced at Carson who was openly judging his brother. Annoyance and hatred written plainly across his face. "Well, I don't see anyone else here called Cooper, do you?" he asked sarcastically.

He watched as Cooper feigned embarrassment at the sudden attention and he had to roll his eyes at the idiot sat in his seat. "Well, I am currently teaching others to act at the actors guild here in New York" he said with a smile that appeared genuine. "Fulfilling my dream of helping others accomplish theirs" he said with a proud nod.

At his words Blaine turned to glare at him, wishing he could kick the lying son of a bitch out of his house right now. His dream was never to teach, it was to act, saying it was to teach, he was just lying to himself. "Unlike others I know," he added on a moment later, the comment aimed directly at him.

Anger washed through him as he'd suddenly had enough of all of his brother's shit. "Cooper" he said putting down his cutlery "you have no rig-" he never had the chance to finish what he was about to say when Carson, jumped in, stopping him from saying something he'd regret.

"How about we eat the delicious food I made before it gets cold, hey boys?" Carson said in a forced polite tone, his eyes the only thing remaining cold as he glanced between the two of them. They both nodded as they dropped their gazes to their plates.

* * *

Carson sighed, relishing in the moment of silence as he ate his food. He took a deep breath as he tried to recompose himself, he couldn't believe Blaine's brother. The two of them were nothing a like, Blaine was loving and caring whereas Cooper, well Cooper was a complete and utter dick.

Some of the things he'd said to Blaine already this evening were so out of line he couldn't believe it. How dare he tell Blaine that he hasn't achieved anything in his life, especially when it was all a bunch of crap. Blaine had achievements, and better achievements then Cooper he assumed.

They were the two youngest people to own a Magazine in all of America, that is one hell of an achievement he thought angrily glaring at Cooper as he ate his food. He couldn't believe that anybody would do that, put their younger brother down in such a way, especially after not speaking to him for over eight years, it was insane.

Nobody could be so rude, nobody, so trying to see the best in Cooper he assumed that maybe he was jealous of his younger brother. The fact that he had achieved so much compared to the nothing he'd achieved. Of course he didn't no for sure, but he could make his own assumptions of the asshole that was currently sat in his house.

His peace was interrupted a moment later when Blaine's older brother decided to start integrating him again. "So Blaine, if you made a stupid decision and dumped Sebastian, who are you with now?" he asked before shoving a piece of gammon into his mouth, his gaze remaining on his little brother.

He rolled his eyes and sighed his annoyance wishing there was anything he could do to stop this, Blaine didn't deserve this shit. Unfortunatley he'd promised Blaine that he wouldn't do or say anything to protect him, he'd promised.

He watched as Blaine swallowed heavily before answering "I'm not seeing anyone actually" he said and winced, obviously knowing that Cooper was about to say something nasty.

"Wow," Cooper breathed "single, not following your dreams, stuck in some dead end job with nothing to show for your life, now that's sad little brother." Cooper said it so sincerely, as if he didn't know the words would hurt, he said it like it was normal. As if it was something he said every damn day of his life, how dare he?

It took everything in him to not just stand up and punch this man in the face, and he wasn't one for violence so that was saying something. He watched Blaine as he tried to recover from the blow, his eyes sadder the before, when Blaine looked at him he smiled sadly, mouthing 'you know it's not true.'

Blaine swallowed again looking at his brother out of the corner of his eye, "I know" he said in agreement and then he suddenly wanted to punch Blaine in the face. _What was wrong with him? Why would he just sit there and take all this shit from a, _he hated to say it_, but a monster? Blaine didn't deserve any of this._

* * *

The rest of the evening continued to drag as Cooper continued to insult Blaine, Blaine continued to take it and Carson struggled to keep his thoughts to himself. To say it had been an exceptionally long evening would be an understatement.

After further insults about him not being able to sing or play the guitar, comments about him refusing NYADA and being the stupidest person alive. There were many, many more insults but there's too many to mention, then Cooper left.

Complaining he had a headache from being around his brothers 'depressing mediocrity' for so long. Blaine was stood by the door, hand on the handle as he looked forward to the moment his brother was out the door and out of his life, hopefully for good this time.

This was how this situation of his was different to the one between Kurt and Carson, they wanted their relationship back. He didn't want their relationship back, instead he wanted Cooper out of his life for good, he wanted him gone.

Cooper had just finished saying goodbye to Carson who was loosing his patience when he shoved a folded piece of paper in his hand as he stood by the door. When he looked to his older brother in confusion he went on to explain "it's a letter from Mother and Father, they want to see you."

At his words his entire body went rigid for the third time that evening, his breathing getting heavy as his whole body started to shake due to his anger. "Well you tell them I don't want to see them" he said ripping up the letter and handing it back to him.

His parent's had ruined his confidence, his life, they had ruined everything because they hated him for who he was, a decision that had never been his. He didn't want them back in his life, he wanted nothing to do with his family ever again. He was so much better off without them, he had a new family now.

"Blaine" Cooper started, his voice the softest and most honest he'd heard all evening, it reminded him of when they were kids. The first time he'd ever told anyone his biggest secret, the fact that he was gay. Cooper had said his name in the exact same tone before hugging him and telling everything would be okay, but he'd lied.

If he were ever to take his brother back, which he wouldn't, he'd want that one and not this self-obsessed asshole. Especially when had sided with his parents decision in sending him off and kicking him out at the age of seventeen because of something that was never his choice. That version of his brother was just a distant memory now, that version of his brother no longer existed.

"Cooper don't" he said firmly. "I don't want them in my life and if you give them this address I swear to god" he stopped mid sentence unsure of where his threat was going, with tears in his eyes he wouldn't have been all that intimidating anyway.

He saw Cooper glance to where Carson was stood leaning against the back of the sofa, his head down as he tried to make himself invisible from the conversation as well as being there for him in the only way he could be.

Cooper put his arm on his shoulder but he flinched away from the contact, his brother sighed "I won't say anything to them Blaine but just think about it?" he asked putting another piece of folded paper on the table by the door.

When Blaine looked to him in confusion Cooper just shrugged, "I knew you'd rip the first one up, it was just a blank piece of paper."

Blaine looked to his brother in frustration, he didn't want anything from his Mother, Father, least of all his brother, he didn't want anything from any of them. He opened the door with some force, "get out of here Cooper" he said as he suddenly lost his patience. He couldn't hold himself together and he wasn't going to give his brother the satisfaction of seeing him fall apart.

Cooper glanced down at the floor and he saw something change in his brothers expression, he glanced to him with a smile and laugh, both seeming a little forced. "Hey, maybe the next time we see each other you won't be some pathetic loser hey? Later Squirt" and with that his brother was gone.

He started breathing in and out slowly, his eyes falling shut as he tried to calm himself down, slamming the door shut behind his brother as he tried telling himself there was no point getting upset or angry over an asshole.

Blaine felt Carson before he said anything as he stood in front of him, waiting for him to be ready. When Blaine thought he was composed enough he opened his eyes and looked to his best friend with a sad smile.

"You were right, monster is an understatement to describe that asshole" Carson said with a smile that made him laugh. Carson smiled in response, pulling him into a hug and murmuring a 'love you Blaine' into his hair.

Blaine smiled into Carson's chest, the tears freely falling now. "I love you too" he whispered brokenly wishing his brother was as caring as his best friend was. He closed his eyes and held onto Carson with all the strength he had,_ that is why I hate my brother_ being his last thought before he lost control, his tears spilling over and probably ruining Carson's shirt.

Carson held him tight, whispering reassurances into his hair until he'd cried until he couldn't cry any more. Pulling back he knew he must've looked a state, his eyes red and puffy, his cheeks tear stained, but he didn't care because suddenly he felt so much better.

The two smiled at each other until Blaine yawned, the long day finally getting to him. "Off you go to bed" Carson said with a smile and a parental edge to his tone as he pushed him in the direction of his room, "we can tidy up in the morning."

"Okay" he said through a yawn, "thanks for tonight C. See you in the morning" he said smiling at his best friend before walking into his room and closing the door behind him.

Half an hour later, after a very hot and calming shower he climbed under his sheets, relishing the feel of them against his skin as it signalled the end to a very long day.

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**Hmm.. what are your thoughts? (I hate my Cooper, he really is an asshole)**

**Hope you guys liked it :)**

**Read & Review**

**See you next one shot,**

**Love Kaylee xx**


	5. Intimidating

_Hello all!_

_So this is the 'before' section for my next chapter that will be out some point on Saturday or Sunday morning! I wanted this part to be in the chapter but it doesn't really fit so i decided it would be best to do this as a one shot!_

_Basically, this starts right where my last chapter finished off and right before my next chapter begins. _

_Hope you enjoy it! :)_

_Warning: Strong language._

_Disclaimer: Glee is not mine._

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**Big Brother: Intimidating. **

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"So," Carson said coily from where he was now sat on top of the kitchen side eyeing up Blaine as he leaned against the side sipping at his coffee. "Sleep well?" he asked taking a sip of his coffee, a devilish smirk on his face.

"You and Kurt looked pretty comfy this morning" Sebastian finished from where he was leaning next to him on the side. When Blaine looked to Sebastian, he saw the guilt and hurt in Blaine's eye's. Yet when he looked to Sebastian's all he saw was happiness and general interest. He knew that after their previous conversations that Sebastian was okay. He was okay with what was happening and how it was happening but he just couldn't understand how anyone could be so forgiving and rational.

Yes Blaine was Sebastian's first love and best friend in the entire world, and of course if he was in the same position he would forgive Blaine, eventually. He wasn't sure if he would be able to stand here and have discussions about him being in love my very recent ex. As much as he couldn't understand it, he completely respected Sebastian's decision and he felt extremely proud.

"Bas I," Blaine started as he made his way closer to where he was sat and Sebastian was stood. "Look we don't have to talk about this" he said sadly averting his gaze from them, "I know I'm the reason you two broke and Kurt and I are just friend's." Blaine shook his head sadly. Carson could see he was doing everything he could to try and stop himself from smiling and it was sickeningly adorable.

He glanced towards Sebastian then and he was genuinely smiling as he took a step towards Blaine, pulling him in for hug and pulling him close. This was the first time since everything had happened that they'd hugged. Yes they'd been out for coffee yesterday, they'd shaken hands, high-fived and all that but they'd never hugged. He was glad to see the peace restored.

Carson watched as Blaine wrapped his arms around Sebastian's waist carefully so not to spill his coffee, "I hate this Bas I'm," he started but wasn't given much chance to finish his apology just like Carson had expected. He couldn't help but smile as he watched his two younger friends interact together, the two of them had been distant for a while, ever since Kurt came in between them and he was glad to see they weren't letting Kurt do that any more, not that he was doing it intentionally in the first place.

"Blainey shut it" Sebastian using his old nick name and taking his hand, pulling back to look at him. "We're all fine okay? I love you and I forgive you and we're all going out today so stop being a four year old and let us enjoy our coffee while we talk about your feelings for the boy next door. Okay?" He more or so demanded with a small smile.

Carson was just sat on the outlines watching the two boys and he was so happy and proud of what he saw. They were acting like grown ups now, not children like he'd seen before. Blaine was doing his best not to cry while Sebastian was now playfully glaring at him and trying not to smile. After a minute or two of just watching each other, trying to one up each other, Blaine caved first. He nodded and dropped his gaze "yeah okay Bas. Yeah okay" he said smiling back at him.

The two shared another moment before everyone went back to their previous spots before the conversation picked up exactly where it left off.. "You and Kurt looked pretty comfy this morning" Sebastian said with a huge grin on his face, which only seemed to make Blaine blush just like he had just now._ It was as if someone had pressed the rewind button_ he thought, laughing at himself which caused both boys to look at him strangely.

"It's not my fault" Blaine said whining "you know I'm a cuddler, you both know I'm a cuddler, it's not my fault!" He said trying to come up with some reason that proved it wasn't his fault, _and clearly he cant_ he thought trying not to laugh as he watched Blaine struggle like a fish out of water. He and Sebastian shared a look and a smile at his nerves. Classic Blaine when he was falling for someone, he'd get all nervous and he'd ramble and make excuses. It was adorable.

Sebastian and Blaine continued talking. Well more like Sebastian kept telling Blaine all the things he's picked up over the past dew days which caused Blaine to blush, ramble and make up more excuses, _as if he really needed excuse_ he thought fondly to himself,_ everyone knew what was happening between the two of them as they tried to play dumb._ Blaine was blushing, Sebastian was making inappropriate remarks, he was letting the fact they included his brother go for the sake of the moment, as he was glad to have his friends back to to normal.

"Blaine, just stop with the excuses, okay" Sebastian said with a laugh. "Kurt and I are over, we didn't work out but you do. Kurt and I are just friend's and I know how you feel about him so just be honest" he said with a smile as he jumped up to sit on the side next to Carson.

* * *

He could see Carson staring at him, it was a mix of questioning and understanding out of the corner of his eye wondering how he was doing this. He would too if the situation was reversed but he was honestly cool with everything. Yeah it had taken him some time after his realisation and their break up, but now it was okay. As hard as it could be for anyone to accept, it was true.

That was why he was sat here with a huge smile on his face and genuinely interested as he watched his best friend in the entire world stumble over words about Kurt. "Kurt and I are just friend's for now" Blaine said sadly looking down at the counter that he was leaning against. "I mean we haven't really spoken about it but we're just going to give it some time I think" he said nodding with a sad smile.

Sebastian dropped his head into his hands and moaned while he could hear Carson mumbling his relief next to him. "Blaine, oh Blaine, Oh Blaine. What are you doing!?" He groaned before shaking his head and looking at him disappointingly. "You and Kurt have had all the time in the world!"

"What the hell Seb?" Carson said nudging him in the rib cage. "It's great news! They need time" he said sounding well over enthusiastic about the idea. Too enthusiastic. He turned to Blaine then, a huge smile on his face "you and Kurt need time Blaine, this is great."

His jaw went slack as he glared at his friend accusingly He was so wrong. "How are we even friends?" he asked seriously with a shake of his head. "C, Blaine needs to let Kurt know how he feels otherwise Kurt might think he isn't interested and move on! That's what happened last time and you don't want history to repeat itself do you!?" He said, a little too harshly he'll admit but his point was still valid.

Carson nudged him again "Sebastian no, just no. Blaine and Kurt need to have some space. Both parties know that the other's interested so if its meant to be, like it is" he said glancing at Blaine who was staring at them in annoyance. Annoyance he could understand, he hated it when Blaine and Carson would talk about him and Kurt as if they weren't even there.

"Then they'll both use this time to think about what they want" Carson continued as if trying to make a point out of every word. "Before they jump head first into a relationship that could shatter this group to pieces." Carson's tone was getting loud and he was a little worried Kurt might here. He was glaring at his best friend now, this is insane. "You need time Blaine" Carson yelled turning towards Blaine who just looked confused.

There was a beat of silence when everyone just looked at each other in confusion. Carson was breathing hard, Blaine looked like he didn't understand what was happening and he wasn't sure why Carson was getting so upset.

He was about to ask what was bugging Carson when a fully dressed Kurt walked in stealing all of their attention. He was wearing skin tight back jeans, white shirt and grey waistcoat, he looked hot._ Damn it. Why the fuck does he look so fucking hot?_ He thought irritatingly to himself. "Nice" he said in his usual flirtatious tone with his signature wink and smirk,_ this isn't going to change me. I won't let it change me._

Kurt's expression was a mix of a smirk and a smile at his comment before he looked to the clothes the three of them were still wearing and laughed to himself. "I can't believe you are still stood around here, talking while dressed in your pajamas" Kurt said disapprovingly as he walked between them towards the kettle, flipping the switch before grabbing four to-go cups from the cupboard.

Carson jumped off of the counter and scooted around Kurt avoiding him and Sebastian couldn't help but smile. "Sorry Kurt we were talking and we got carried away" he said backing up. "You look good though, new shirt?" he asked still slowly backing away.

Sebastian couldn't help but laugh at these two brother's. How could Carson be so scared of his younger brother? Kurt was only nineteen, seriously what had Kurt done to him. "Carson, dude, chill!" He said with a smile laughing at him as he patted him on the shoulder.

Carson turned to him and mouthed the words 'don't dude me he's fucking terrifying!' before turning back to Kurt with a forced smile. Kurt had a huge smile on his face as if he knew what he was doing and loving every minute of it, for the smallest fraction of a second he was reminded why he had fallen in love with this boy.

"Thanks Carson, yeah it is new" he said with a grin. "Sebastian bought it for me" he said with a smile in his direction. It took him a moment longer staring at the shirt to remember exactly when he'd bought Kurt that shirt, but then all too quickly their shopping trip came back to haunt him. There were too many happy memories there from a better time that he refused to think about. One day he would, but now it was too soon.

Blaine pulled attention then, maybe sensing Kurt's too over sweet tone or the discomfort in his expression, he turned his gaze on Kurt as he clapped his hands together. "Right we will go and get changed then we can get a move on" he said with a smile pulling them all out of the kitchen and towards their bedrooms, but not before he saw Kurt's adoring and triumphant smile.

The two of them were pulled out of the kitchen by Blaine and they all started making their way upstairs, Carson going on about how terrifying Kurt could be and Sebastian had to wonder why he had never seen this side of him.

Once at the top he would never admit how much it annoyed him that Blaine walked into Kurt's room as if it was his own. Hell he wouldn't even admit it to himself, not really. So with only the slightest pause in his stop and a quiet side he followed Carson into his room. Carson who was already half way through undressing. Undressing in front of each other wasn't really an issue for any of them anymore, they'd known each other way too long and seen too much, but sometimes Carson's lack of embarrassment still surprised him.

"You alright Seb?" Carson asked him with a smile as he pulled his pajama bottoms off and started searching for a fresh pair of boxer's. "You know with Blaine and Kurt? I know you say you are and that we've talked about it extensively but I still worry about you Seb." Sebastian rolled his eye's as he lifted his shirt over his head, yes he was okay with it but that didn't mean he wanted to talk about it. He knew that Carson was only looking out for him, so instead of biting back he decided to smile and change the subject.

Sebastian laughed, it came out sounding a little too forced, as he started doing up his dark blue shirt ignoring Carson's previous question. "Carson, before you get stark naked in front of your friend's, why don't you at least make sure your clothes are in reaching distance so you can change quickly" he said with a laugh turning towards him and of course, he was still naked.

"What?" Carson asked, intentionally posing inappropriately so he had a very good view of everything. If he wasn't so used to Carson's behavior he probably would've blushed because let's be honest, he is gay and Carson is hot, even if he is too much like a brother, it's been a while. "Do I intimidate you?" he said with a wink before very slowly and dramatically pulling up his boxer's in a way Sebastian thinks was supposed to be sexy.

He smiled, well smiled would be to light, he full on smirked at his strange best friend, "dude you know that you don't intimidate me" he said with a wink. They all knew who was the most intimidating,_ and I will always be the most intimidating_ he thought with a smug smile as he reached for his jeans.

Carson continued to glare at him while they both put on their trousers before dropping his gaze and sighing. "Yeah okay" he said sounding a little deflated and he couldn't help but feel smug, what could he say he was proud of what he had to work with. "You're the most intimidating. But not by much!" he added with a finger point that had him laughing as he buttoned his jeans.

"Guy's!" Blaine reprimanded as he came in looking stunning in red jeans and black blazer. _They'd look good together_ he thought sadly as he turned to him,_ damn it! Why do both of my ex's have to be so god damn hot!? Because you have good taste,_ he thought answering his own rhetorical question. "Will you guy's stop talking about who's the most intimidating and get your asses downstairs. Kurt's waiting for us" and with that he turned and stormed back out.

He and Carson shared a confused look, "what's his problem?" he asked Carson with a suspecting smile, he reached for his blazer already knowing that Blaine was probably just anxious to keep Kurt in a good mood, as well as looking forward to spending as much time with his as possible, he knew how his best friend worked.

Carson shrugged "he's probably just upset that he's the least intimidating" he said with a wink grabbing his scarf._ Scarf? Really? He is definitely Kurt's brother_ he thought with a smile shaking his head even though technically with Carson being the oldest it should be the other way around.

Sebastian laughed at Carson's comment, both of them knowing it wasn't true. "Are you sure that's not why you're so upset?" he asked knowingly, giving Carson a look before heading towards the stairs and down towards the kitchen where the couple to be was waiting for their arrival.

"That is not true Sebastian Smythe and you know it!" He heard Carson call defensively from behind him and he couldn't not laugh. It had always been a touchy subject for Carson, but just because he wasn't the most intimidating out of the three of them didn't mean he wasn't intimidating at all. "Plus we are not done with the conversation that we didn't even get chance to start!" Sebastian just waved his hand dismissively "nice subject change though" Carson said with a smile as he grabbed his shoulders at the bottom of the stairs.

The two of them walked into the kitchen in the middle of Kurt and Blaine's conversation, the two of them were stood side by side talking and laughing as they made their coffee's to go. Kurt making sure Blaine used the Lima Bean cup and the two of them sharing some intimate look that he didn't understand. Carson tripped as he rounded him, falling into the fridge and making their presence known.

As soon as their coffee's were finished the four of them put on their jackets, Kurt running upstairs to get a scarf_, of course_ he thought with a fond smile_, _before they headed out the door and into the cold morning, Lima Ohio air.

* * *

**So I hope you guys enjoyed this little one shot and I hope you are now looking forward to my next update if you weren't already! Thank you so much for reading my drabbles I really do appreciate it, so Thank you. You guys are the best.**

**See you at the weekend!**

**Love Kaylee xx**


	6. Heart-to-Heart

_**Posting Notice:** I haven't had that much time the past week or so! But I have the next week off of work so I am hoping to release new chapters of both 'It's All on Facebook' and 'Big Brother!' So they are coming, but I apologise for the delay, being ill hasn't helped all that either! :L Hopefully this one shot will make you hate me that little bit less! :L _

___So, I keep mentioning that Carson and Sebastian have lots of heart to hearts and that they talk about the Kurt/Blaine/Sebastian situation but I never seem to dedicate anything to them. So to make up for giving Klaine all the attention I thought I'd give you a bit Sebarson love!_

___(Sebarson? Is that alright or.. What do you think Carbastian? :/)_

_Warning: Strong Language._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee._

* * *

**Big Brother: Heart-to-Heart**

* * *

_Monday 23rd of July. 1:20am_

"I think it's about time we had a heart to heart" Carson said from where he was sitting on his double bed leaning against the head board. Sebastian was lying on his bed with his journal out, writing away, filling page after page. He'd never pegged Sebastian as the kind of guy to keep a journal and he'd never seen him write in one before, he thought that maybe it could be to do with all of the thoughts and worries over Kurt and Blaine and the subject they still hadn't discussed, his new job in London.

Sebastian scoffed, not looking up from his journal "Blaine's in the next room Carson." He let out a sigh not expecting him to have reacted any other way, he had never been one for talking about his feelings. He tended to keep them to himself, locking them up and letting them get bigger and bigger until one day he wouldn't be able to handle it any more and he'd explode.

He reached over and took Sebastian's journal, making sure to shut it before he could catch any of the written words, that was private and he only wanted to know what Sebastian would tell him. "Hey give that back you ass" Sebastian said trying to reach for his journal back. Carson decided to sit on it, meaning Sebastian would be less likely to go after it considering they were both tired as it was half past one in the morning.

"No" he scolded reaching out for Sebastian's arm "not until we talk about this Seb" he more or so demanded and he could tell by his friends expression that he didn't like being spoken to in that tone. _Well tough,_ he thought,_ he's going to have to put up with some tough love if he's going to be so stubborn about this._

Sebastian sat up straighter and glared at him as if hoping he would back down, unfortunately he wasn't feeling kind today so he stood his ground and five minutes later his friends body sagged and he sighed. "Fine, what do we need to talk about C because I really can't be fucked right now" he said burying his face in his duvet.

He hated seeing his friend so defeated, so vulnerable but he was only going to remain the same way if he didn't talk about it with anyone. "You know what we need to talk about Seb" he said softly leaning forward and putting a comforting hand on Sebastian's head. "I'm not doing this to torture you you know, you need to talk about this otherwise it's going to eat you up" Carson said hoping he would understand.

A muffled "I know" came from him and he smiled sadly, hopefully this was all Sebastian needed to start talking. After a few moments of lying in the duvet he sat up straighter before getting off of the bed completely, deciding to snuggle up next to him under the covers instead. "I know you want me to talk about Kurt and Blaine but I don't know what you want me to say" he said sounding helpless.

He was about to come up with an easy question to ease them into the subject but Sebastian was already talking. "Kurt and I broke up yesterday" he ignored the fact it was actually two days ago because they hadn't gone to bed yet, so technically in his mind it was still Monday. "We broke up because Kurt is in love with Blaine and Blaine is in love with Kurt" he said to no one in particular. "I mean, how did this happen? How did I end up falling in love with my ex boyfriends soul mate? How does that even happen?" he asked desperately glancing at him.

Carson was a bit shocked at his previous words to respond which is why Sebastian carried on talking, _love?_ He asked himself before glancing at the heartbroken expression on his friends face._ He was, is, did love Kurt? How did I not know this? Why didn't he say anything to me?_ He must be going through so much more pain then he'd originally thought. Going out with someone and loving someone are two different experiences when it comes to the ending of the relationship.

"Yes I love him Carson," Sebastian said obviously picking up on his confusion. "I know we've only known each other for a while but I guess in some ways I'm just like Blaine. I fall too hard, too fast sometimes" he said with a small shrug. Carson missed the way he said 'love' but that was a conversation for a different time. He went to apologise, for what he wasn't sure, when he was stopped. "Don't Carson. I don't regret it so you have nothing to be sorry about" he said with a smile.

The two sat there for a moment in silence, a comfortable silence. Carson sat there, cuddling his pillow giving Sebastian time to think over his words and the situation. He knew how hard it must be for him, even if he did forgive them, it must still be hard.

"You know," Sebastian said more to himself a few moments later, "you would've thought I'd hate them both, but I can't. I know, just as well as those two do that not everything is a choice. I know them both well enough to know that they would never do anything intentionally to hurt me" he said smiling at him, "they just aren't those sort of people."

He smiled back putting a hand on his arm, "I know they'd never do anything to hurt you, and I know it wasn't their choice, but you don't have to hate them for it to hurt Seb" he said with a reassuring smile hoping he'd picked the right thing to say to keep him talking.

"Why does it hurt so much? I mean I know it's not intentional, but why do I feel like this?" Sebastian looked and sounded so vulnerable, a vulnerable side of him that he'd never seen to this extent. He didn't look like the twenty-three year old he was, he looked like that seventeen year old version of himself he'd seen so long ago.

"It hurt's because you care Sebastian, and that's a really good thing." Sebastian scoffed as he wiped some tears from his cheeks, "no trust me. It's good because that means you care. We'd rather have an emotional, crying Sebastian then a Sebastian that doesn't give a fuck." He paused and looked at his friend wondering if he could take it. "You have every right to be angry at them Sebastian, you have every right to hate them, and the fact you don't, says so much about you as a person" he said wrapping his arm around his shoulder.

* * *

Sebastian wasn't sure how he had ended up in this conversation, he never had heart to hearts with people, just his trusty journal that only Carson knew about, and that was only because he couldn't exactly hide it when they were sharing the same room. Yet here he sat, with Carson's arm wrapped around his shoulders and pulling him close as he tried to make him understand the situation his was in.

He'd only ever been in a mildly similar situation before and that was when Blaine flew home that weekend to break off their relationship claiming that long distance was too hard on them both. Just like now, he knew that Blaine wasn't doing this to hurt him, back then he had done it because he thought it was right, and that's what he had done this time. He'd ended things with Kurt because it was what was right.

He could tell himself over and over that he initiated the break up for Kurt, so that Kurt would be happy with the person he was supposed to be with, but deep down he knew that wasn't the only reason. He needed to break up with Kurt because if they continued dating, Kurt would eventually realise he was supposed to be with Blaine and he would end up hurt and alone and worse off then he was right now.

Sebastian knew he'd done the right thing and he knew deep down that he still loved both Blaine and Kurt and that he always would, so no he didn't hate them and no he didn't blame them. _So why did it have to hurt so much?_

"I think of you as my brother in every way possible Sebastian, and you have every right to want to scream and shout and yell or do whatever it is you want" Carson said smiling at him. "Now I didn't expect to get this much out of you so if you want to go back to writing in your journal then I shall let you, or if you want to carry on talking to me then that's perfectly acceptable too." For the sake of the moment he decided not to snap at the use of tone,_ I'm twenty-three not freaking twelve._

Carson was smiling at him and giving him the option to keep everything to himself and he hated that he was considering telling Carson everything. Don't get him wrong they'd pretty much covered everything from that short conversation, but still. Did he want to tell Carson, or did he want to tell his journal, only one of them would talk back to him or understand, but was that what he wanted right now?

He dropped his gaze to where his hands were fiddling with Carson's duvet and smiled "I don't know what else to say." He took a deep breath "I mean I do hate them for what they've done but then I don't hate them because it's not their fault. They didn't chose to have this connection Kurt didn't chose to go out with me just to break up with me for Blaine and Blaine tried, and failed" he said with laugh, _failed miserably_ "to let Kurt and I be together, it just didn't work because Kurt and I were never supposed to be together."

His tears had stopped now and he wasn't sad anymore, he just had this terrible ache in his chest that he knew probably wouldn't go away any time soon but that was something he'd decided he could live with. He let out a sigh of relief, happy to have said his piece, he'd told Carson about how he was feeling, he'd cried like a baby and he hoped now that he would be able to move on from this.

Of course Carson had other idea's and happened to ask the one question he didn't want to deal with. That subject was purely for his journal and his journal only. "What do you think about the idea that now you and Kurt are over, that Blaine and Kurt might start dating?" he asked quietly, not looking at him but his grip on his shoulders getting tighter.

He sucked in his breath and wished that Carson would take the question back because he didn't want to deal with that. He knew that it would happen and he knew that he would be okay with it, but why did Carson want him to talk about it? This wasn't fair. "God Carson! Why are you being so god damn pushy this is nothing to do with you" he snapped pushing his arm off and climbing out of bed only to then stand awkwardly by the door.

Sebastian knew he shouldn't have snapped, he knew that Carson was only doing this for his own good but this was what he did. When anybody got to close to him he would snap and push back, putting up a barrier so that they couldn't get any closer, wouldn't want to get any closer. That used to work on strangers, still does, but when it comes to any of the three boys in this house, it never worked. They always knew.

That was why he turned to see Carson sat on the bed watching him carefully, he didn't look mad or angry, hurt or sad, it was worse. He looked sympathetic and understanding. "Sorry" he said throwing his hand out in front of him as if Carson would've expected such a reaction. Carson nodded in acceptance and just sat there, smiling softly at him and waiting for him to continue. So with a frustrated sigh he decided the sooner he spoke his thoughts aloud the sooner he could go to sleep.

"What do you want me to say? Kurt and Blaine are going to start dating, they're soul mates. I want them to be happy and them being together will make them happy, so that will make me happy" he said hoping that would be enough of an explanation. "As long as they're happy then so am I" he more or so told himself, crossing his arms and staring at Carson. He didn't look convinced.

He sighed in frustration "god! Okay fine. Does the idea of Kurt and Blaine dating upset me? Yes it does. Does it upset me that Kurt loves Blaine more then he loves me? Yes it does." He was pacing back and forth in front of Carson's bed, his arms gesturing wildly and his eyes focused. "Do I hate them for wanting to be with each other instead of wanting to be with me? No, I don't."

"I know that I will be having endless conversations with both Blaine and Kurt about their feelings for each other! I know I will have to sit through endless coffee dates with them as they go on and on about how amazing the other is, and as much as that should probably upset me, hurt me. I don't why, but it doesn't. For some reason I have idea no why, I look forward to all of those things!" He practically yelled and he knew he had to keep his voice down it was too early in the morning to be screaming.

He came to a stop in front of Carson's side of the bed, leaning against the wall with a smile. "I look forward to hearing them tell me about their dates, I look forward to hearing all of the random things they do together. I look forward to hearing how Blaine proposes, I look forward to attending their wedding and I look forward to being their when they welcome their first child" he said turning around and sitting at the end of the bed, dropping his head in his hands.

"Ugh, it makes me some sort of masochist or something, what the fuck is wrong with me?" he laughed at himself. "What kind of ex looks forward to seeing his two ex's get married and start their own family. What the fuck does that say about me?" he asked no one in particular laughing at himself again.

He heard Carson moving behind him and assumed he was crawling towards him on the bed, Carson plopped himself next to him at the end of the bed and wrapped his arm around his shoulder again. "That tells me that you are a great person who loves his best friends, very very much. Enough love to make you forgive and forget and be happy for them." Carson said smiling at him. "It shows that you're an understanding person who cares about his friends too much to let anything get in the way. It says a lot of things about you Sebastian, and none of them are fucked up" he said shaking his head.

Sebastian turned to Carson then and he couldn't help but smile, he dropped his gaze and smiled shyly, not being used to hearing nice things about himself. "I know I don't say it very often C, but I don't what I'd do without you."

"I know," Carson said with a proud smile "I don't know what I'd do without you either so come here" he said pulling him in for a hug. Sebastian wasn't usually one for hugging because it normally made him feel slightly uncomfortable being so close to another person, but when it came to Carson or Blaine, even Kurt, it was when he felt safest.

"Love you Carson" he mumbled into his chest. When Carson wrapped one around his back and moved his other hand to the back of his head he had never felt more like a child in his life, but he'd never appreciated it more when Carson told him he loved him too before kissing the top of his head.

* * *

Carson knew there was more to talk about, maybe not about Kurt and Blaine, but now wasn't the time. They still had to talk about the fact that Sebastian would be moving to London in a few months, but he could tell that Sebastian was shattered and he decided to let it go for now. They could talk about it the next time they managed to squeeze in some alone time and when they were a bit more awake.

That was why he pulled back and gave Sebastian a smile before moving him to his side of the bed and tucking him in. It was nearing half past two and he knew that tomorrow morning Sebastian was going to have to talk to Blaine about what he was feeling, so that sleep would do him good. "Night Seb" he said quietly turning off the light from where he was now tucked up in bed.

"Night Carson" Sebastian said around a yawn before drifting off into oblivion. He wasn't too far behind, the events of the day and evening slowly catching up with him.

* * *

**So, this took me a while to write and it was actually kind of nice to be able to write Carson and Sebastian alone together. There might be more of this to come, who knows?**

**Thank you for reading all my silly little on shots and stories!**

**Love Kaylee xx**


	7. Sebastian, my son

Hello, here is another one shot that I wrote, before I wrote the chapter it's based in actually.

Anyway I know I make mention to this but you guys don't know what the letter actually says, so I decided that I would give you the letter that Sebastian's Father wrote to him the day he found out he was dying.

So, this letter Sebastian's Father wrote the moment he got home from the hospital after hearing that he had two weeks left to live. He'd convinced the doctor's to let him have one more night at home before he would spend the rest of his life in a Hospital ward.

Please understand that I am not condoning how Sebastian's Father treated him, or in no way am I saying it is acceptable. This is Sebastian's Father's apology letter and nothing more.

I am so sorry about the delay, I am going through personal issues once again but I promise to be back on track as soon as possible. You will never know how much I appreciate you after all of the waiting I put you through. You guys mean so much to me, thank you. *heart*

Warning: You may cry.

* * *

**Big Brother: Sebastian, my son.**

* * *

Dear my only son, Sebastian.

Look son, I know that your first thought is to throw this letter away without giving it a second glance and I can completely understand. Could you just give me a chance that I don't deserve and just finishing reading? I know this doesn't make up for anything and I know how weak a man this makes me because I can't say it to your face, but that doesn't mean I don't mean it.

One A4 Page Sebastian, that's all I ask even though I know it's asking too much.

I am dying.

The Doctor's say it isn't long, two weeks they've given me. Who would've thought that some random person telling you you've only got two more weeks to live would be such a big deal. You know how people always say before they die their life flashes before their eyes, how you see everything you love? Everything you've done wrong, memories you'll never forget? Well my first and only thought was you.

I know you're probably thinking I'm just saying this after the way I've treated you. I'm not proud of the things I did to you or to your Mother, but especially you. You are my son, at the end of the day I should love you no matter what, and I do. I've just never been able to show you because you locked me out. Now I'm not saying I didn't deserve it, because I did. I just hate the fact that I never got the chance to make it up to you and now it's too late.

You probably think that I have no idea what you do with your life, who your friends are, or even about that guy you've been dating, but I do. I know that you work very hard in your publishing firm and I even have a bookshelf dedicated to all of the books you've published. I know you live somewhere in Manhattan and I know you have two very very good friends who have been the family you've deserved.

I know you're probably thinking I haven't changed, that I was too set in my ways, that I hate you too much purely because you were gay, and I did hate you. Now I don't expect that to not hurt and I don't expect you to understand, but I was brought up in a very wealthy, very proper family where you had to be one way or you were out. I was brought up with the understanding that being gay was a sin, that it was wrong. I know now, that I was wrong.

At a meeting a few years back I met this man, Lima Ohio's congressman, Burt Hummel. We had a few beers and we got to talking, I asked him how he could approve of same sex marriage and relationships when society claims it to be so wrong. His answer; his son. He told me about his son, his son who he'd known was gay from the age of four years old, how he had never been more proud of his son until the day he'd opened up to him and told him he was gay at the age of fifteen.

He told me everything his son had been through, everything he'd had to watch his son struggle with because the world told him he was wrong because of something he was never given the choice about in the first place.

I had to have him explain that bit because I couldn't understand how being gay wasn't his choice. I had never thought about it like that before, he told me that being gay wasn't a choice and when I insisted it was, he asked me one simple question that left me speechless. 'If your son choose to be gay, then tell me, when did you choose to be straight?' That was the one and only time in my life I didn't know what to say, because he was right. I didn't choose, I just knew.

The conversation moved on and I talked about you and how we didn't talk anymore because of your sexuality. He told me he hadn't wanted a gay son, he'd wanted a son who he could pay football with and go and see basketball games with, but that that didn't make him love his son any less. In fact he told me it made him love him more. And to this day he would never, ever ask for another son because he is so proud of how he has handled everything that the world has thrown at him and the amazing young man he had come become in spite of the world around him.

I'll be honest, I took what he said in my stride, I still thought that he was wrong, still thought that having a gay son would ruin my life, my career, my family. Even though I couldn't dispute the fact that you didn't choose this life for yourself like I'd always accused, it was what he said next that made me rethink everything. It was his next words that made me realise how wrong I was.

When his son was seventeen, after a tremendous week of bullying at school he'd walked into his son's bedroom with a question about tea to find him passed out on his bed, a note on his dresser and an empty pill bottle in his hand. He told me how angry he was at himself for not trying harder to protect him, for over looking everything because he was gay and for never being there to listen because his sexuality made him uncomfortable.

He told me how scared he was, how much he hated himself for not doing enough for him. This man told me that it's true what they say, you never really know how much you love something until it's almost gone. He had never stopped loving his son, but it wasn't until that moment he realised that loving his son wasn't going to be enough. That was his defining moment. From that moment on his entire world shifted and everything changed.

I went home that night and I thought about you, how I hadn't spoken to you in months. How I didn't even really no where you were, but all I kept thinking about was that fishing trip we went on one day. Remember? We had caught a few fish and we'd released them all because you said it was the right thing to do. We were in the middle of a tickle fight, you were winning, when our boat capsized.

We got so cold and wet we had to change into the rags in the back of my car. Then we stopped at the little cafe, Fishy Fries Cafe, for a hot chocolate, you asked for extra marshmallows and the woman gave you a whole bowl because you were so polite, I'd never seen a bigger smile on your face.

I remembered the relationship we had and I realised I missed it and I have no one to blame but myself.

I never stopped loving you Sebastian, no matter what I said, it was just the case that my hatred of your sexuality stopped me from seeing how much I really did love you.

I just need to explain a few things to you because I won't be able to do it in person and you know what you're mother is like when it comes to business. Attached to this letter you will find my will, everything is yours. The house, the business, the cars, the vacation homes, it's all yours. I'm not doing this to buy your forgiveness Sebastian, I am doing this because you are my son and I love you and it's what's right.

Do with them what you will, sell the business, the cars, the vacation homes. Sell everything if that's what you want. I just ask that you let your Mother live in our family house as long as she wants to and that you make sure she is okay. I know your Mother treated you worse in some ways then I did, but I know you still have some connection with her, so please don't ever lose that.

I should have discussed this with your Mother really but instead I am writing it to you because it means more to you then it would your Mother. Or well it meant more to you, back then. When I'm gone Sebastian I want to be cremated and I want my ashes to be spread over that lake where we went fishing, because when I look back over the last thirty years of my life, that is the one moment that means more to me then anything.

Now I don't expect you to be there when this happens, or even at my funeral, I don't deserve your grief and I know that, I just want you to know where and why I want my last moment on earth to happen. I no that if you're reading this then I'm not there any more, and I know that won't really make much of a difference in your life because I haven't been there for you since you were fifteen years old, but I want you to know that even though I'm gone and that you hate me. From now on, I will always be here for you.

Before I go Sebastian, I want you to know how much I love you. How proud of you I am and all that you have accomplished on your own. I know you have friends in New York, and that they're your family and I am so happy that you've been able to find what I should have provided in someone else.

I know you will go onto achieve great things, that you will reach your dreams, I believe in you Sebastian and I have so much hope for you. I hope, Sebastian, that one day you will find that man that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I hope that wherever you're living that you will be able to get legally married surrounded by all of your friends that mean the world to you.

Most of all, I hope you'll have kids with your husband. You would make an amazing Dad Sebastian, don't let people like me and the ignorance of the world stop you from raising a family because you will much a fantastic Dad Sebastian, you will never be like me so please don't ever think like that, like you're turning into me because I know that you never will. I know that I won't ever get the chance to see this myself but I really hope that one day your Mother will be at your wedding, and that one day she will get to meet the little darling you can call your own.

I know I don't deserve your forgiveness and that's why I'm not asking for it. I don't deserve anything from you so I am just very grateful that you took the time out of your life to read this letter.

It's a bit over an A4 page so I thank you for sticking through with me until the end, even though I'd never done the same with you.

I am proud of you Sebastian, and I love you.

I'm sorry.

Your Father.

* * *

**:'( Ah it's so sad!**

**Hope you guys enjoyed, I'm not sure if enjoyed is the right word, this little letter. It was heartbreaking to write, especially considering Glee's 'home' was playing in the background while I wrote this!**

**Well I'll see you next update!**

**Love Kaylee xx**


	8. Blaine, don't do this I Love you

_Hello,_

_So, I have been wanting to write this part of this story for a very long time. Every time I deice __I'm going to write it I end up changing my mind, so this time I decided I am going to start writing before I can change my mind._

_Now I know in the part of this story you've seen it's not really a big deal, but in this story as a whole this was a pivotal moment between Sebastian and Blaine. I think you might have guessed where this is going.. Now I bring to you the scene in which Blaine ended his relationship with Sebastian. _

_Maybe one day I'll write what happened the weekend that followed and Sebastian's trip to the hospital, but for now I'll leave you with this._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee._

* * *

**Big Brother: Blaine, don't do this. I love you.**

* * *

_March 24th 2006. 6:30pm_

Sebastian was sat in front of his computer waiting for Blaine to log into Skype. He hadn't been able to speak to Blaine over the past few days and knowing that they would be seeing each other today at 6:30, was the only thing that had been keeping him getting through the days without him. They say you never find the love of your life in high school, but seventeen year old Sebastian Smythe was proud to say that everyone was wrong. He didn't know how it happened or how he'd been so lucky but he was going out with the love of his life, the boy that he hoped one day he would marry.

He and Blaine had been together for over three years, their first meeting being the first time he knew that there was something special about that boy with honey eyes and the curly black hair. Until the moment he met Blaine he never believed in love, he may have only been young but he'd been raised in a house where the marriage was cold and angry, there was no love in his house, maybe that was the reason he never used to believe in it.

Beautiful Blaine had changed all of that the moment they'd met, they became instant friends and it wasn't long before he'd worked up the courage to ask Blaine out who responded with a blush and a 'it's about time.' Everything was perfect after that. School days turned into school years, they grew more in love every day and nothing changed. They experienced their intimate first's together as a couple and everything was perfect, they were solid and strong and nothing could break them.

Then it came to Blaine's graduation, and with Blaine's graduation came him moving to New York for school. It had been four months to the day that they'd spent their last night together, the last time they kissed, the last time they touched and Sebastian couldn't wait to tell Blaine the good news. He knew that Blaine was always busy with school work so he'd managed to book a plane ticket to spend the weekend with him next weekend. It was sort of a last minute surprise that he hoped Blaine would love considering today marked a sad sort of anniversary.

They had both known that the distance would be a problem, but they refused to dwell on it. They had both decided that they could handle the long distance considering it was only going to be ten months until he would move out there with him and they could be together again. It was less then that now, only six more months to go and they would be together again.

He'd be the first to admit that things between the two of them had got strained over the past few months, the distance affecting them more then they thought it would. Their schedules got busier, Skype dates going forgotten and phone call's going unanswered, but Sebastian loved Blaine and he truly believed that everything would be okay. He loved Blaine and Blaine loved him, that was all they needed to make it through the next few months of separation.

He looked down to his watch with a sigh, the minutes were passing by and Blaine's screen name was still offline. He sat back in his chair with a sad smile and wondered where he was. This wasn't the first time that Blaine had missed one of their Skype dates but he didn't let himself read into it too much, Blaine was just busy. He'd waited all night once just in case Blaine was really late, and there was nothing stopping him waiting all night now.

Sebastian was sat in his desk chair, feet on his desk as he threw a ball up in the air, forty minutes later and there was still no sign of Blaine online. He was tired, he wanted to go to bed, he could feel the tears in his eye's at Blaine forgetting yet another date. He was tired of this, he hated not seeing Blaine, speaking to him, he hated that Blaine could forget him, but Sebastian loved him and a young seventeen year old Sebastian believed that as long as they loved each other they would be fine.

The door bell rang and with a groan he made his way downstairs to answer it. Little did he know that answering that door would be a huge, life-changing moment for him. They say everyone has a few moments in their life which are pivotal, this was one of them. Sebastian would learn heartbreak, vulnerability but most importantly, he would learn to believe that love is never enough, meaning it was never worth it.

* * *

_March 24th 2006. 7:15pm_

An eighteen year old Blaine was stood outside of a little house on the outskirts of Westerville. He hadn't been here in forever, it was four months ago he was here, the night before he got on the plane to New York, his one way ticket it hand. That night had been one full of tears, stolen kisses, last touches and Goodbye's. It had also been one full of hope and optimism. Yes he was going to be leaving which would put a strain on their relationship but they had both been foolish enough to think that it wouldn't change anything.

Four months ago to the very day, here he stood and everything had changed. They only spoke once every few days, they never got to see each other. They skyped roughly once a week but thing's weren't the same. Sebastian was still in his last year of school and he was in college, he had new friends, a new life, a new routine and he hated that there wasn't much room left for Sebastian, his boyfriend. It shouldn't be that way, it couldn't be that way.

That was why he found himself stood at the end of the drive of his house, trying to hold in the tears as he tried to find the courage to do the last thing in the world he ever wanted to do. He loved Sebastian, he'd loved him since the moment they'd met in that choir room those three years ago, he always has loved him and always will, but they couldn't go on like this.

He'd been stood outside in the rain for the past twenty minutes, he was glad it was pretty late, the darkness creeping in and keeping him out of sight. He kept wondering why Sebastian hadn't text him asking where he was, then he would remember that he hadn't told him he was coming. If he told him he was coming Sebastian would've spent the last few weeks looking forward to a weekend that would only end in disappointment.

So with one final deep breath he took a step forward and started up the path to where his whole world would come to an end.

He knew that there wouldn't be anyone else home, Sebastian only came home when his parent's were out and he knew he'd be here because they had a Skype chat planned forty minutes ago. He knocked on the door and it wasn't long before a distressed Sebastian answered with an aggravated 'what?' He was stood there in his Dalton t-shirt and joggers, his hair a mess probably from running his hands through it in frustration about him not showing for their date. "Hi," he said softly with a wave and he couldn't stop looking at him, he hadn't really seen Sebastian in so long and he had missed him so much.

Sebastian seemed to stand there in shock for a few moments, unsure of what was happening or if he was really here. When he came to, Sebastian threw his arms around him and pulled him close. "I've missed you so much Blaine" he said breaking down into his neck, "I've missed you so, so much." Blaine brought his arms to wrap around his boyfriend knowing exactly what he was feeling. He couldn't stop the tears from falling either, his though were for a completely different reason.

After Sebastian had gotten over the initial shock of him actually being there the two moved up into his bedroom, settling on his bed, being as close to each other as possible as they caught each other up on their lives. There wasn't too much that the other didn't know, it was just nicer being able to have the conversation face to face rather then through a screen or a mobile.

They were lying on the bed now, Sebastian's head was on his chest, their hands intertwined in front of them, he wanted to be near Sebastian, he wanted to be with him. He couldn't believe how much he'd missed just being with him, after all he was the love of his life._ If he was the love of my life though, wouldn't we both have made more of an effort to keep in better touch during the past few months?_ This was a question that had been on his mind for weeks now.

He didn't want to do this but he knew if he didn't do this now he never would. The more time he spent with Sebastian the more he managed to convince himself that what he'd come here to do was stupid. "Sebastian," he said sitting up straighter causing Sebastian to move his head but not letting his hand go, "there's something I need to talk to you about."

Blaine could tell by the look on his face that Sebastian knew something bad was coming, he could also tell that he already knew that whatever was going to happen would be final. He looked sad and broken, it broke Blaine's heart to see him like this because of him and he hadn't even said anything yet. "What about?" Sebastian asked quietly, his gaze dropping to their intertwined hands as he held on tighter.

"There's no easy way to say this Bas" he said sitting up and moving the smallest fraction closer to his boyfriend, even if he only had that title for the next few moments. "You know I love you, with everything I have" he said finally telling himself to look at Sebastian as he did this. He could see the tears in his eyes and the pleading behind them.

"Don't" Sebastian choked out and the sound broke his heart. "Blaine, don't. Don't do this" he said moving closer to him, one hand staying in his, the other moving to his cheek, forcing him to look at him. "Blaine, please?" he begged trying not to start sobbing. Every second they went on like this the more he convinced himself he was doing the wrong thing, yet he knew. He wasn't doing this for himself, he was doing it for the one person he loved more than anything in this world.

He was crying at the sight of Sebastian's sobs, he moved his hand to Sebastian's cheek wanting to be close to him as well as offer some form of comfort. "Sebastian" he chocked out himself "I love you so much, you know I do, but this, this isn't working."

"Six months" Sebastian said, interrupting him through his tears. "Six months Blaine and I will be with you in New York. I don't care what my parent's say, the moment graduation's over I'm hopping on a plane and then we can be together." Sebastian's words got harder to understand the more he got himself worked up. "Six months Blaine, six months" he was begging him now. He never thought he'd reduce Sebastian to this and he hated himself for it.

"Sebastian, you deserve to be with someone who can love you in every way possible, I can't do that while I'm in New York. I've already ruined your senior year by not being here, I can't do this to you anymore" he said, his tears falling uncontrollably at the idea of loosing this boy forever.

"Six months Blaine, six months and I can be with you in New York. Who care's about six months when we have the rest of our lives!? Ten months is nothing in comparison Blaine, please?" he said pleading again, gripping at his shirt and Blaine had never felt worse in his life. Sebastian was right though, ten months in comparison to forever was nothing, but it was also everything.

"Bas, baby" he started but Sebastian interrupted him. It annoyed him but what did he expect he was breaking him.

"Don't you 'baby' me" he snapped in his direction. Calling me 'baby' won't make this better, okay!" he said pointing at him and wiping the tears harshly from his cheeks.

Blaine sighed before continuing with what he was saying. "Bas, you don't want to come to New York, you've always told me you want to move back to Paris" he said in an attempt to make him see sense. He couldn't have Sebastian moving to New York just to be with him when he'd always talked about Paris. It may have not been his main reason for initiating this break up, but it sure played a part. "I won't be the reason you don't go back to Paris, I can't Bas, I just can't."

* * *

"Blaine, I love you and I don't care about the distance or where we are as long as we get to be together! And we can! Soon! Six months. Blaine please, don't do this? I can't live without you Blaine, baby please?" Sebastian was pleading now, he was crying uncontrollably and he was begging and he didn't care. He couldn't believe that Blaine was suggesting they break up after they'd survived four months of separation. There were only six more months to go and they'd be together again.

He knew that Blaine was struggling with this, he could tell that he didn't want to do this and he believed Blaine when he said that he loved him, so why was he trying to end their three and a half year relationship? "Bas don't make this harder then it is" he said in a broken tone. "Long distance doesn't work for anyone and it doesn't work for us" he said flatly.

Sebastian sat there, tears falling down his cheeks and his mouth hanging open, he knew the last few months had been hard, they're hormonal teenage boys after all, but they'd managed so far. "Maybe if we make more of an effort?" he asked begging. "I'll fly over at least one weekend a month and that weekend can be our weekend. I know it's not much but it's more then we have now." He continued even though he knew that Blaine had made up his mind, this was it.

"Blaine, please don't give up on us, please don't give up on me?" he said losing it all together as he fell forward into Blaine, not being able to stay away from him no matter how much he might hate him right now._ How am I supposed to survive without him? If Blaine can give up on me, everyone can _he thought to himself and really hitting his self esteem_._ "Blaine, don't leave me" he said clutching at Blaine's t shirt, _please don't leave me_ "I thought you'd always be here."

He felt Blaine's sob in his chest, could feel his grip tighten on his shirt, and as much as he hoped that Blaine would change his mind, he knew he wouldn't. If Blaine thought he was doing the right thing then nothing could stop him. It was one of the things he loved most about him, now it was coming back to bite him in the ass. He was fighting a losing battle with the boy he thought he'd marry._ How can my world be turned upside down so suddenly?_

"Sebastian I love you, so much but if we were meant to be together then we would have already made that effort. We would already be seeing each other in the flesh once a month. If we knew that we were it then we would talk more then twice a week Bas, we have holes and I know you see them too" Blaine said holding him tight against his chest, as if he didn't want to let him go.

He didn't want to let Blaine go, he didn't want to ever leave his embrace but sometimes wanting isn't enough. He pulled back, forcing Blaine to let him go as he moved further away from him on his bed. He could see the hurt and heartbreak at him distancing himself, but he was the one who'd done this. "We have holes Blaine, I do see that, but at least I'm willing to work on it. You seem to have just given up on us already!" he yelled through his tears.

Sebastian understood that things hadn't been easy. He understood that they both could have made more of an effort, it was mainly Blaine who missed their Skype dates and missed his phone calls, but if they worked on it together then they could get themselves back on track. It wouldn't take very much, but he was willing. He was more then willing to do anything, absolutely anything for this boy in front of him, who was at this very moment in time, breaking his heart.

He was hurt and he was angry, and it was all Blaine's fault. "Bas, I haven't given up on us," he started.

"Clearly" he scoffed throwing a cushion at him. If he hadn't given up already he would've come to him to discuss this. They could have sat down and spoke about it all. They could've looked at where they were going wrong and try to fix it, rather then Blaine going straight for the break up card,_ he's given up on me_ he thought brokenly staring at the boy he loved in front of him.

"Bas, I haven't given up on us," he repeated. "I never have and I never will I just don't think being in a long distance relationship is good for us, for anyone." He tried to explain, and he was only listening to be polite. He didn't really care about Blaine's reasoning's anymore. Blaine didn't want him any more, _what am I supposed to do now?_ "Being in a long distance relationship is making both of us miserable and I hate to see you miserable" Blaine looked as if he was begging him to understand, well he was out of luck because he didn't.

Blaine got up on his knees and moved closer to the edge of the bed, "Sebastian I love you, and seeing you miserable because I'm not here kills me" he said through his tears, "and as much as it kills me to do this, I'd rather let you go so you can be happy here, then see you miserable for the next six months."

"You wouldn't know if I'm miserable Blaine because you never pick up my phone calls! You forget our Skype dates, you don't know anything about how I'm truly feeling Blaine, not anymore. And if you think breaking up with me is going to make me less miserable," he looked out his window and shook his head, he hated this. "If you think it will make me less miserable then I guess you don't know me, at all" his voice broke and he hated that Blaine was seeing him, making him so vulnerable.

He knew that his words would hurt Blaine, that had been his intention after all, i_f Blaine's going to hurt me, then I'm going to hurt him_. He looked to Blaine and saw the hurt in his eyes, his tears falling down his cheeks and he hated how much it still killed him. "Sebastian, don't" Blaine started and he didn't even know what he was going to say. _What the hell would he be telling me not to do when he's the one doing the breaking._

He put his hands on the side of his head and he just wanted to scream, he couldn't believe Blaine was doing this to him. "I can't believe you're doing this Blaine, I just, I love you" he said turning to him with a heartbroken expression, he may hate him right now, but he couldn't give up on him. "I love you, isn't that enough?" Blaine didn't answer and he was glad that he didn't because his expression spoke volumes, let alone hearing him say the words out loud.

_Love isn't enough_ he thought through the mess in his head, at Blaine's expression he lost it all over again, his tears became sobs, he couldn't breathe and his legs couldn't support him anymore. His legs went from under him as he fell against his wall, sliding down before pulling his knee's into his chest and burying his face in them. _If love isn't enough, then what is? _

After a few moments of silence and keeping his head buried Blaine moved to sit next to him. His arm wrapped around his shoulder as they sat side by side and as much as he wanted to push him away and tell him to leave, every fiber in his body was telling him that he wanted him closer, that close wasn't close enough. "I hate you" he said into his knee's still refusing to look at him even if he did move that little bit closer. He'd never thought he'd say those words to Blaine and actually mean them, but he did, right now he hated him.

"I know" Blaine said brokenly beside him. The tone of his voice was enough to catch his attention, it was raw and nothing like he'd heard all night, when he looked to Blaine he looked terrible. His eyes were red and puffy, there was no life there and they were no longer the colour of golden honey, instead they looked like muddy water, this was taking a toll on him too. "Sebastian," Blaine said his name the way he used to, before New York, with pure love and want. He leaned forward putting their foreheads together and he wanted to hate him for it but he couldn't.

"Sebastian I love you so much" he said his tears starting up again as he moved his free hand to his cheek forcing him to keep looking at him. "You know I wouldn't do this if I didn't think it was what was right for us," he said so sincerely and Sebastian hated that he did know that. But Blaine was wrong, this wasn't what was right, _this was wrong. How could he be doing the right thing when it hurts so much?_

They continued to look at each other for what seemed like forever, both of them wanting for this moment to be over, forgotten about, discarded. However the words were out there and nothing could be taken back, nothing would ever be the same. "I love you" Blaine said quietly before crushing their lips together. Like every other intimate moment this evening he wanted to push Blaine back,_ but what if this was the last time we ever kissed? Ever touched, what if this is the last time we'll ever see each other._

He may have hated Blaine, but it was nothing compared to how much he loved him. So even if it was the wrong choice he let Blaine kiss him, he opened up allowing him entry. They kissed for what seemed like hours, their kisses were full of tears, sorrow and goodbyes. There was nothing romantic or hot about it, but they were more intimate. Sebastian was the first to pull back with an "I love you. Why can't that be enough?" He knew the answer and he knew that was the only way he could make himself stop. He couldn't do this. He couldn't get used to kissing Blaine just to lose it again.

Blaine dropped his gaze then and looked away from him all together and that was enough of an answer as he needed. He stood up, dropping Blaine's hand and moving out of his embrace as he moved to go and settle on his bed, reaching for the stuffed teddy Blaine had won for him last summer when he worked at Six flags. Blaine continued to sit against the wall and for a while they just sat there in silence, enjoying each other's company even considering the situation.

Eventually Blaine stood up from the floor and made his way to sit next to him on his bed, but he wouldn't allow it. "Don't" he said brokenly staring at the teddy he was clutching in his hands, the ring on his finger that Blaine had given him suddenly weighed a tonne. He felt, more then saw Blaine's hesitation which made him look at him, a look full of pleading. "Don't."

Tears started falling from Blaine's eyes at being told not to come any closer, he hated it, he hated this, but it was no one's fault but Blaine's. He knew how much telling him 'no' would hurt because he was basically telling him that he didn't want him there any more. As much as he knew it hurt Blaine he hated that he could see the understanding in his eyes, he knew that it hurt him too but he he was still putting Sebastian first. _He'll always put me first_ he thought hating that he couldn't hate Blaine, not really, when Blaine thought he was doing he right thing for him.

Sebastian dropped his gaze back to the hand with the ring on wondering what had happened to them, Blaine reached out and clutched his hand with the hand he wore his ring on. The sound of the metal on metal used to make him smile, now it only brought a fresh wave of tears to his eyes. Blaine gave his hand a gentle squeeze before getting up off of the bed and leaving him. He sat, alone, in the middle of his bed with tears steaming down his face at the idea of losing this boy, the love of his life, forever.

* * *

Blaine was stood by the door, he couldn't stop himself from crying as he stared at the heartbroken boy that was sat staring at him from the center of his bed. He thought that they'd dealt with this, Sebastian had told him to leave, but obviously the idea of him leaving hit him hard, the realisation of that being it for them, too much.

Sebastian's eyes were red, puffy as he pleaded, for what Blaine knew would be the last time, "Blaine, please don't do this. I love you" he knew it was Sebastian's last attempt to make him stay, and he'd been warring with himself throughout the entire conversation, but this wasn't fair to any of them. He loved Sebastian, and this past hour or so had been the worst time of his life, but even if he wanted to take everything he'd said back, it was too late.

"I'm sorry Bas" he said through his tears. At his words he watched Sebastian shatter in front of him, he literally saw the love of his love break and he didn't know how to handle it. Sebastian's body seemed to give out under him as he collapsed into a heap in the middle of his bed, his sobs wrecking through his chest in a way that must have hurt in more ways then one.

That sight alone left him wanting to take back everything he'd said. You can never take your words back, in this case it was a good thing because as he watched the love of his life fall apart in front of him he wanted nothing more then to hug him, tell him how sorry he was and that they could make six months, but he couldn't and he wouldn't. They say if you love someone that you have to set them free, and that was exactly what he'd done.

"I love you Sebastian, I always have and I always will" he said quietly knowing that Sebastian wouldn't be able to hear him over the turmoil going on in his head and the sobs in his chest. As his tears started to spill over making it almost impossible for him to see he walked out of Sebastian's bedroom, closing the door behind him and not allowing himself to look back or stop until he was downstairs and as far away from Sebastian's room as possible.

Eventually he collapsed in the middle of the Smythe kitchen. His sobs breaking through his chest and making him feel like they were literally going to tear him apart and he knew that he was feeling nothing compared to what Sebastian was going through then that made him cry even more. His heart literally hurt after what he'd just had to do and he wished he'd never have to do anything like that again. He loved Sebastian, more than anything in this world, and he hoped that one day Sebastian would understand why he had to do it.

Once he started to heave he put his head between his knee's and forced himself to breath, telling himself that he wouldn't lose Sebastian, even though he didn't know if it was true, he could pretend it was right now.

He knew he should leave, but he couldn't bring himself to. He had to make sure that Sebastian was okay. As hard as it would be for the both of them he was going to crash on the sofa so they could talk things through in the morning because he couldn't leave things between them like this. If Sebastian kicked him out in the morning, then so be it, he just had to make sure that Sebastian would be okay because he knew deep down that he wouldn't.

It took Blaine a while but eventually he managed to cry himself to sleep on the Smythe sofa using Sebastian's favourite blanket, it was the only way he could be close to him right now.

* * *

Sebastian was curled up by himself in the center of his double bed, clutching the teddy to his chest and holding onto his ring as hard as possible. The sobs ripped through his chest and left him heaving. He had never ever felt so much pain_. How could one person hurt someone like this, hurt me like this?_ His eyes were hurting from all of the crying, his nose was sore from the amount of times he'd rubbed it and he felt like this pain was going to kill him. _No one should have this much power over anyone._

Eventually the air around him got cold so he crawled under his covers, still clutching the teddy to his chest. Memories of him and Blaine playing through his mind like some sick movie that had been created just to destroy him. Eventually he cried himself to sleep, telling himself that he would never give anyone the power to break him. It hurt too much and he would never go through this again. His last conscious thought, other then how much he loved and hated Blaine, _if I can't trust Blaine with my heart, then I can't trust anyone._

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**Awww this was so hard and confusing to write! I haven't written Blaine and Sebastian dating like, ever so this was really fun and sad.**

**I think I may have dragged this out a little bit but I wanted to show you guys when everything changed for them as a couple and then when and how everything changed for Sebastian. Nothing significant happened to Blaine as an individual at this moment in life apart from the fact he lost the love of his life. Sebastian's life however, would never be the same, not for a long time.**

**I hope you guys enjoyed this, if not I apologise.**

**See you soon :)**

**Love Kaylee xx**


	9. And That's Okay

_Hey ho to all of you lovely readers._

_Now this one shot comes with a very strong warning. _

_This is in fact a sixteen year old Kurt's Suicide Note. Now if you're reading the story then you're expecting this if not, I'm telling you now. I feel I should warn you because it may bring back memories, or triggers or anything like that and I don't want to hurt or upset any of you._

_Disclaimer: Glee is not mine._

_**Warning:** Mentions of Suicide._

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**Big Brother: And that's Okay.**

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Dear Dad,

I don't really know what to say, I don't really know how I'm supposed to do this really. Do I write down all the reason's why? Or do I just apologise and tell you how much I love you? I have no idea, so instead I am going to do both.

If you're reading this letter then I am so sorry for the pain and hurt that I am currently putting you through. I apologise for the arrangements you will have to make for my funeral and I apologise for the phone calls you will have to make. To Grandma, Carson and school. I'm sorry that even though I'm gone I'm still a burden, but once thats done and I'm gone, life will be okay.

I'm sorry for doing this the way I have, but I didn't see another way out. I wasn't cowardly or scared of life. I embraced life full on when I had to, but my reasons for leaving you are simple. I was alone, no one cared and I was always in pain.

I know saying I was alone probably won't help how you're feeling right now, but I need you to know that this isn't your fault. Honestly it isn't. I know you love me and I know how much you care about me, but I also know how much you have been struggling to come to the terms with the fact that I am, that I was gay, and that's okay. Honestly it is, I don't blame you or hate you, if possible I love you even more for accepting me the way I am.

This is one of the reason's I couldn't hurt you any more. Me being around just made your life, made everybody's lives more complicated then necessary. I know you struggle with the hoax calls about my sexuality and I know you tried to protect me after I was put in the Hospital a couple of weeks ago, but lets be honest Dad, you over looked a lot of things when it came to my safety and my sexuality.

Now I know you weren't as forward about it as Mr Schue had been, practically telling me out right that I needed to get used to being bullied and judged because I would have that for the rest of my life, all because of my sexuality. I know on some level you believe that too, that it's something I would need to get used to and maybe on some level you're both right. But on my level, you both couldn't be more wrong.

I'm alone Dad, I have been since Carson left and my sexuality made us grow distant in more ways then one. I have no friends, everyone looks at me like I'm some sort of freak. People are afraid to touch me because they're afraid to catch 'the gay.' Now it's not okay, it's nowhere near okay, but I've dealt with it, I've lived with it. But not anymore.

The bullying is constant and nobody, not even the teachers do anything about it because they believe that it's something I need to get used too. The student body doesn't care about me and if the teachers don't either, I can't blame them. You never notice if I come home limping, you never notice if I'm wearing a different outfit when I come home after school. You don't notice any of these things, but that's okay because I never expected you to. I never, ever expected you to.

I like who I am, I like what I like and I think that I would've made a name for myself, a good name for myself if things had been different, but as they're not. I guess I'll have to make my name a different way Now. Now, you don't have to do this Dad but I want my suicide to mean something, okay?

I've taken my own life by choice, but only because I felt forced into it by a situation that was out of my control. If you are willing to do so Dad I want you to use my death as a statement; Bullying Against Homosexuality has to stop. I'm not the first one who know's everyone's lives will be better off without them and I know I will not be the last, but if I can stop one person from doing what I was forced into, I'd consider it a death well done.

Now that I'm gone I know Carson will come back, he'll come back to support you and help you with my funeral and he'll come back and stay, maybe not forever, but just for a little while. I'm hoping my death will bring what's left of our family together.

I won't you to know that, even though I felt I had no choice, it was my choice to take my own life if that makes sense? I've had people throwing insults at me since school began and that's okay, but there's only so much anyone can take. Only so much I can take. Now it was hard for me to come to this decision; taking my own life, but it's truly what I want.

I'm sick of hurting people, I'm sick of disappointing people and I'm sick of being alone. The only thing stopping me from doing this sooner was you. Now after some thought and that phone call last night I realised me sticking around was hurting you, not helping you. So I've come to the decision that now is as good a time as any.

Please remember that this has noting to do with you Dad, nothing at all. I was given two choices; live life in a constant state of fear, abuse and loneliness or save myself. As you can guess I chose the latter, and the thought of not getting bullied, not hurting anymore, being with Mum? That makes me happy Dad, it really does.

I'm not in any pain where I am and I promise you that everything will be okay. Mum and I will watch over you for the rest of your life, and remember what you used to tell me? I will always be with you, in your heart and in your head. I love you Dad, so much. You're the closest thing I ever had to a friend, and that's okay.

Don't beat yourself up over a decision I made. I love you all the same, even if you didn't notice, I still love you and nothing will ever change that. Please remember that my decision was not your fault and I don't allow you to feel guilty. This was just how it was supposed to be. I was never supposed to make it to my 18th birthday, was never supposed to have a boyfriend or make it to New York. This is what was in store for me and I accept that, I only hope you can too.

Now, I know I stopped trying with Carson and I'm not going to ring him up now just to leave his life, but will you please tell him that no matter what happened between us he will always be my best friend, the greatest brother in the world and someone I love with everything I have. Please make sure he doesn't blame himself either, just because I've been feeling alone since he left doesn't mean it has anything to do with this decision I made.

I made this decision for me Dad and I am sorry for being selfish and not thinking of others, but this is the first time in my sixteen years of life that I've put what I've wanted before anyone else. In sixteen years that isn't bad, is it?

Daddy I love you.

Daddy I'm so sorry,

Kurt.

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**So, it's short yet heartbreaking and I made myself cry at one point during this bittersweet letter. **

**I hope you think I did a sixteen year old Kurt justice.. if not my apologises.**

**Read & Review.**

**Until the next update,**

**Love Kaylee xx**


	10. Come What May

_Hi there!_

_I wrote this scene originally for the Epilogue but after writing it, it just didn't seem to fit. So instead of letting it stay locked away in my computer I decided that I would post it here, I know it's only short but it was originally written as Kurt's flashback. _

_I hope you enjoy it. :)_

_I am so sorry I didn't post this sooner! I thought I already had! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee_

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**Big Brother: Come What May**

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_- July 20th 2014-_

Kurt had had a long week at school and he'd been looking forward to this Friday night all week. Kurt and Blaine had plans to cuddle up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and some popcorn to watch Moulin Rouge. Blaine had had a busy week at the studio and they hadn't seen much of each other, what with their clashing schedules and he missed him.

Blaine had his arms wrapped around him while he was resting his head on his chest, listening to his heart beat as Christian and Satine sang 'Come What May' for the last time. "I love this song" Blaine said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

He hummed in response not really wanting to miss the end, as heartbreaking as it was, it was beautiful. "I was wondering, do you think we could sing this at our wedding?" Blaine asked gently, running his hands through his hair while the words caught him off guard.

Kurt sat up like he'd been shot, his eyes wide as he looked at Blaine, _is he being serious!?_ "What?" he all but shrieked wondering if this was really happening. They'd discussed their wedding before but only in theory, for some reason he couldn't explain, this felt different.

Blaine looked at him, eyes filled with love as he turned so that he was facing him. He shook his head a moment trying to find his resolve and Kurt's heart started pounding in his chest,_ oh my god is this it?_ "Kurt. I love you so much, and this song" he said gesturing to the TV where Satine was now dying, "doesn't even begin to cover how much I love you, but it's a start."

Kurt was staring at Blaine, eyes wide with hope, a smile on his face as he tried to force himself to concentrate on Blaine's words, he would never, ever get this moment back. He watched as Blaine took his hands in his, smiling as he continued, "and I just think that this would be the perfect song to sing at our wedding. "Assuming you'll marry me of course."

Blaine grinned as he moved one of his hands towards his pocket. Maybe he should have replied, maybe not. Either way he probably wouldn't have been able to say two words, he was freaking out right now, but in the best way possible.

He was trying to force his mind to stop racing, this might be a proposal but he was too excited. "Oh my god Blaine, oh my god. Oh my god" he was trying to say the words under his breath but the smile on his boyfriends,_ maybe soon to be fiancé oh my god!,_ face told him he wasn't being as quiet as he'd hoped.

"Kurt, I know we're still young" he said pulling a ring box out of his pocket "but I've known since the moment I saw you. I knew you were special and then I learned that you were it for me. I will never love anyone as much as I love you, so" he said smiling, tears pooling in his eyes.

He watched, his heart beating so fast he thought it would jump out of his chest, as Blaine struggled to open the ring box with one hand. Eventually he gave him an apologetic smile before using both hands to open the box. Set in red satin was a beautiful, thin silver band with the words 'teenage dream' engraved, in what looked like Blaine's handwriting.

Kurt's breath caught in his throat, he'd spent hours of his life dedicated to dreaming of his perfect ring, yet not one of them had looked like this. But now that he'd seen this, he would never want anything else. _Oh my god I can't believe it, Blaine want's to marry me. Me!_

"Kurt Hummel, will you marry me?" Blaine had been unable to keep the grin off his face or the excited edge out of his tone, he'd barely got the words out when Kurt threw himself at his now fiancé.

His heart was racing, tears were streaming down his face yet he couldn't stop smiling as he clutched the man he would be spending the rest of his life with. "Blaine yes, oh my god. I love you so much Blaine, so much" he said into the side of his neck, "and did you really need to ask me to sing 'Come What May' with you at our wedding!? Of course I will!"

"You'll really marry me?" Blaine said laughing as he held him against his chest.

Kurt pulled back at that, a little shocked that he would even ask that question. "Of course I'll marry you, you idiot" he scolded before kissing Blaine with everything he had. It was a little difficult to kiss when neither of them could stop grinning but they found their way around it.

Eventually they split apart and Blaine slid the ring onto Kurt's finger, where it would stay for the rest of forever. "Do you like it?" Blaine asked shyly as he gripped his hands.

Kurt looked down to see that beautiful band settle on his finger and he couldn't stop the few tears from falling. Looking at Blaine with a watery smile, "Blaine it's perfect." He dropped his gaze to just stare at it, how could Blaine know exactly what he wanted when he hadn't even known himself.

"I love it Blaine" he said smiling before leaning in and kissing him, "and I love you." The two looked at each other for what seemed like hours, but he couldn't hold it off. He pressed his lips against his fiancé's, wrapping his arms around his neck and holding him as close as was humanly possible.

After a few more kisses Kurt eventually sunk back against Blaine's chest, Blaine's hand in his as he toyed with his engagement ring. Before too they long they were already discussing wedding plans. "I think a winter wedding" Blaine said kissing him on the top of his head. "January or February? But no Valentines Day wedding" he said with a shake of his head, "they're so tacky!"

He smiled as he toyed with Blaine's fingers trying to believe that he was actually sat here, on their sofa in their apartment, discussing wedding plans. "Red and Cream" he said with a grin kissing the back of Blaine's hand. "Red and cream, it's the perfect colour theme for a winter wedding."

Blaine started talking about colour schemes and venues, mentioning cake flavours and it surprised him that he'd spent time thinking about this. "Blaine" he said something adding up dates in his head, "if you want a winter wedding, unless you want to wait well over a year. We have less than six months to plan our wedding" he said turning in Blaine's arms to look at him.

Blaine was watching him, with so much love in his eyes he decided if Blaine wanted a wedding next month, he'd make it happen. "I guess we've got some planning to do then" Blaine smirked, literally taking the breath out of him as he captured him in a kiss he hadn't seen coming.

The two spent hours cuddling on the sofa, but eventually, a little before midnight they stumbled down the hallway to their bedroom. Laughing and smiling, always attached, their lips touching some part of the other before they spent a sleepless night showing each other just how much they loved.

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**Well, there's that. I hope you liked this, sorry if it wasn't what you expected, but I thought this was all kind of cute and adorable.**

**Anyway. Maybe I'll see you soon. :)**

**Love Kaylee xx**


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